Growing Despair
by Apollo's Lady
Summary: Sequel to Resultant Despair... Apollo is under attack again, but this time is it from within? Can Adama save his son a second time? No relation to seasons two or three. Rated T to be safe in later chapters. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

I've been feeling guilty. I wrote a story and posted it here a long time ago. It was called "Resultant Despair." Lee was poisoned by an unknown assailant. (OK, it was Boomer.) In the story, we never caught the culprit and it seems Lee didn't completely recover, but Adama chose to keep that information to himself. It screamed for a sequel.

It scared me to write one as response to RD had been overwhelming, but I did. It was posted at my own website. It occurs to me though, that since many of the readers at FF were so kind and generous, I should share it here as well.

So, please, if you will, enjoy "Growing Despair". As usual, I don't own them, but I like to play. I also am not a professional and don't care to be one. Please forgive the mistakes you find. Perhaps it goes without saying, but it's AU.

Thanks!

**Growing Despair**

**By Apollo's Lady**

Lee could feel his father's eyes bearing down on him as always. At first he tried to pretend it wasn't happening. He was imagining it. When that failed to work, he simply ignored it. It had been months now and he knew he was going to have to confront the man sooner or later, but it wouldn't be today. Today was the beginning of fleet inspections. Joy!

Lee hadn't really been out in the fleet much since the initial attack. Then, he had spent hours inspecting ships and meeting with captains to detail their needs and complaints. At that time, he would have never guessed so long would pass. He had naively assumed they'd somehow defeat the Cylons and resettle somewhere. They hadn't. The human race was confined to various ships of differing sizes and shapes that supported their attempts to stay alive to varying degrees of success. Today he was about to start inspecting them all.

"You look thrilled." William Adama smirked at his son as he settled in at his side. He loved Lee there. He'd often wished he could station Saul elsewhere, so Lee was always at his side. He knew he could keep his son safe then. There'd been too many close calls and near misses for Bill's heart. He wondered what his wife would think of this change in him. She used to accuse him of completely forgetting the existence of his family when he stepped foot on a ship. She used to be right.

Lee's face pinched ever so slightly as he struggled to sound professional. "It's important that we keep the fleet in as good of shape as possible."

Adama laughed. "Yep, so you get to go listen to all the captains complain about their engines and their lack of supplies."

Saul Tigh, some time drunk, ever-present second in command of the Galactica sauntered up to them. "Isn't this a waste of the CAG's time? Shouldn't the President be listening to all this whining?"

Adama sobered, sensing the equally ever-present rise in tension that occurred when Lee and Saul were in the same room, even when Tigh seemed to be defending Lee.

Lee attempted to clarify without the edge to his voice that was normally present when dealing with his XO. He always felt like he was battling Tigh, whether they were or not. It had been that way since Kara had gone missing and they'd nearly come to blows over her rescue. "The President is coming with the Chief and I…"

"All aspects of the fleet will be represented in order to provide a uniform effort." Adama concluded. He was in no mood for either of these two men to say the wrong word.

He turned to Lee. "Be careful out there."

Lee groaned and lowered his voice so only his father could hear. "We're going to have a talk about this SOON. It's been more than six months dad. I'm fine."

Adama sputtered slightly and pinched his lips in guilt. "I…"

Lee shook his head, waving his father off. "I said when we get back." He laughed. "Stop worrying so much. I can take care of myself. It doesn't look good to have the Admiral hovering over his CAG. What will the men in my command think?"

Lee's blue eyes twinkled at the teasing reprimand, and Adama relaxed. "Good Hunting, son."

Lee raised an eyebrow at the expression, but opted not to argue further. "I'll see you in a few days."

BSG

It had only been two days, but it felt to Lee like thirty. He grabbed the file in the front of the box on the floor and straightened his uniform before stepping down the raptor's ramp. As had become their ritual, Roslin made the necessary introductions, polite small talk was made for a few minutes and then all went about their assigned tasks.

Later, a young man, who seemed very nervous, was showing Lee to his quarters. They were spending the night on board as a sign of good will. Lee hardly understood how it was a good thing to put out already cramped ships by asking them to come up with beds for more. Lee could take it no more of the manboy's fidgeting. "Is there something wrong? Is there anything you need to tell me?"

The man blushed profusely. "No, it's nothing. I'm just… Well, you're…" he choked on his words and shook his head. "Ignore me."

Lee stopped. "What is it?"

The man looked up into Lee's eyes and radiated pure admiration. "You're Apollo. Lee frakin' Adama." He gasped at his curse. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

Lee was certain the blush on his face would have passed for an alert warning on Galactica. He had no idea what to say. "I'm…"

The young man suddenly found his courage. "I'm just honored to meet you, sir. I mean you're the reason we're all still alive."

Lee felt like his head was going to explode. "I'm not. Our survival is a huge effort. Everyone plays a role."

The man nodded. "I knew it. I'd heard you were modest like that."

Lee groaned, completely perplexed as to how to get out of the situation. He prayed to the gods he didn't really believe in they'd reach his quarters soon.

The man walked a few steps further and paused at a doorway. "It's a shame. A man like you should have his own quarters on board. You shouldn't have to share."

Lee steadied his tone. "I bunk with the other officers on Galactica. Why should it be any different here?"

The man was obviously stunned. "You do?"

Lee laughed. "I eat in the mess with everyone else too."

Stun was replaced by shock. "But… Well certainly the food is better."

Lee shook his head. "We get the same food as you do."

The man paled. "Don't you get extra fruits or vegetables?"

Lee thought a moment and pulled his ration card from his pocket and showed it to the man. "I believe it's the same as yours?"

"Frak me! That just ain't right."

Lee assumed a more command tenor. "I do try and make sure my pilots have the best we can offer them. They do an amazing job. They put their lives on the line daily to protect us, but they don't deserve more than anyone else." It was obvious to Lee he'd impressed the man.

"Wow. That's awesome." He stiffened his back and offered Lee a snappy salute. "Rest well, sir."

"Likewise." Lee added as he pulled on the door.

"Oh not me. I've got the night watch. I'm just coming on duty."

Lee wished him a pleasant shift and slipped into the small room. Tyrol was dozing on the lower bunk. Lee tried to close the door quietly, but Tyrol sat up quickly. "Sorry, sir. I must have dozed off. It's been a long day. My men could spend a month on this ship alone."

Lee shook him off. "No worries, Chief. I'm just glad there's only one day left. I don't think I could take much more of this. Give me nine hours of patrol any day."

Tyrol chuckled and moved to stand. He bent back over to straighten the sheet.

"Going back out?" Lee asked.

"No, I didn't mean to take your bed."

Lee smiled. "Why is it my bed? I can take the upper bunk just as easily. It doesn't make a difference."

The Chief looked confused. "Um, sir. That wouldn't be appropriate."

Now it was Lee's turn to be confused. He strengthened his position by hitching himself up and sat on the edge of the upper bunk. "Why isn't it appropriate?"

"I was taught that officer's should always get the lower bunk."

Lee burst into laughter, falling onto his side. "By whom?"

The chief clammed up immediately, knowing he'd been part of a joke all those long years ago. "Never mind, sir."

Lee spit out a few more chuckles. "Just tell me it wasn't Starbuck."

Tyrol smiled and shook his head. "No, sir. Not Lieutenant Thrace."

Lee settled back on the thin pillow and beat it a few times for shape. "Good. I'd hate to have to deal with that one." A few additional bits of laughter escaped his lips. In a sleepy voice, he added. "I like the top bunk. I always got it when my brother and I were little at my grandparents. I told Zak I had to have the top, because if the bed broke, he was expendable." Lee suddenly sobered at what had once been a silly, childhood prank, now memory. A chill passed down as his spine as he reassured himself that his brother had not died believing he was expendable.

BSG

Lee stubbed his toe on the corner of the bed and bit his tongue to keep from crying out. It was late into the night watch and he'd found himself wandering the halls of the Emerald Drifter. He'd 'woken' on the deck. As it wasn't a battlestar, there was no activity at the time, so his pride remained intact. He recalled his mother telling him he'd sleep walked on a few rare occasions as a child. They were normally times of great stress. As he walked back to his room, he wondered what the stress might be. He certainly wasn't any more stressed out than he'd been since the attacks. He hadn't walked in his sleep when the Cylons were coming every 33 minutes. Of course, he also hadn't slept then. He hadn't done it after the poisoning either.

That damn poisoning, he knew it was why his father now hovered. His father was worried the Cylons would again use him to control the now Admiral. He'd never let it happen. He would never admit it to his father, but he was exceptionally cautious since then. They'd never actually caught the perpetrator. Lee's attacker still roamed free to try again.

Lee resettled himself into his bunk and closed his eyes. The sleepwalking nagged at him. The CAG couldn't sleep walk. The military wouldn't accept sleepwalkers. It was too big a risk on a battlestar.

"Everything alright, sir?" Tyrol groggily called up to him.

"Yeah, I just needed a walk. I couldn't sleep. Sorry to bother you." Lee curled onto his side and wished the rest of the night away.

BSG

The Emerald Drifter was a large ship, but even her impressive girth couldn't stop her from trembling when the sound of explosion ripped through her corridors.

Lee had to grasp the bedrail to keep from falling out of bed, but the Chief hit the floor with a painful thud. "What was that?"

Lee was already jumping down. "I don't know, but we better go find out." He pulled his boots on and stopped long enough to check on the Chief. "You ok?"

Tyrol nodded, finishing his own boots. "Sounds like it came from the deck."

Lee stared at him perplexed. "How can you tell?"

Tyrol merely grinned. "It's my job."

Lee ushered the chief out the door, and continued his questioning. "I could see it on Galactica, but this is a strange ship."

Tyrol's grin grew even wider. "No ship is strange to me, Captain."

Lee laughed, but grew more serious as the corridors filled with more and more people rushing to check out the situation. The military men were caught up in a crowd of people who were being ushered away from the scene. Lee grabbed Tyrol's arm and pulled them through. He was about to be pushed back by security, when the officer finally looked at who was arguing with him. "Sorry, sir."

Lee ignored him and they moved forward. He strode up to the Captain of the ship who was shouting directions. "SitRep!" Lee demanded letting all know he was assuming control of the situation.

The captain stared at him confused. "Huh?"

Tyrol didn't wait for orders. He slipped by the two men and went to examine the situation more closely for himself.

Lee rolled his eyes, wondering about the quality of captains the fleet was dealing with. He had always assumed most civilian captains were former military. He was obviously wrong. "What happened?"

The captain glared at him. "The shuttle next to your ship blew up." Before Lee could question further, he added. "It took your raptor with it and three of my crew."

The President had slipped silently into the group. "I'm sorry for your losses, Captain Reakle. Do we have any idea how it happened?"

Lee wasn't surprised to see her present. Laura Roslin wasn't one to shy away from any situation. He also wasn't surprised to see her pulled together. He hadn't stopped to consider what he looked like, but he wore his hair short for a reason. Roslin either hadn't been sleeping or politicians knew how to magically transform their appearance.

Reakle's shoulders slumped in defeat. "This ship has enough problems without losing half our deck. I have no idea why a shuttle suddenly explodes. We don't have people stationed here round the clock. The place should have been empty."

Roslin nodded. "Thank heavens it didn't happen on the day watch or who knows how much worse the casualties would have been."

Lee scanned the area. "Madame President, may I suggest you depart the area?"

She raised an eyebrow in his direction. She didn't need words.

He coughed. "There's no reason for a shuttle to suddenly explode. It hadn't been used in hours, so the engines were cold. I suspect we're going to find a bomb in the wreckage."

Reakle concurred. "What's the point of blowing up my shuttle?"

Lee looked at the heavily damaged raptor. "Maybe it was faulty and went off early. Maybe it was supposed to take out the raptor in the morning."

Roslin paled ever so slightly. "Taking us with it," suddenly she couldn't take her eyes off the smoldering remains.

Lee summoned a security guard with a wave of his hand. "Escort the President back to her quarters and double the guard around her." She looked as if she was about to argue, but she saw the resolve in Lee's eyes and decided to concede. He read her thoughts. "I'll come down with a report just as soon as we know more."

When the president had departed, medics rolled a gurney past the two captains. Reakle stopped it and pulled back the drape. "Damn. Just a gods damned kid." He shook his hand in disgust. "Isn't it enough to run for our lives from the Cylons?"

He looked to Lee for comfort that wasn't to be found. Lee was stunned to be looking into what remained of the face from the prior night. There, before him was the young man who had idolized him. His heart constricted at the loss. He didn't even know the kid's name. He knew only that optimism like his had been sorely needed. Lee felt ashamed of himself. He was so caught up in his thoughts, he hadn't heard Reakle's question. "Huh?"

"How did you know the shuttle hadn't been out?"

Lee looked confused for a moment and then his earlier statement came back to him. "I was down here earlier."

The civilian captain's eyes narrowed. "You were on the deck?"

Lee's brain immediately snapped to Reakle's thoughts. "I couldn't sleep, so I came down to the deck. It's very common for pilots." He didn't add he didn't remember getting to the deck in the first place. He knew it wouldn't look good and the last thing the fleet needed was for the civilian fleet to mistrust the military more than it already did.

Reakle didn't seem convinced. "And you saw nothing?"

Lee glared at him. "Captain Reakle, what possible reason could I have for blowing up a shuttle?"

The older man sputtered. "I didn't mean to…"

Lee eyed him coldly. "Please contact Galactica and let them know what's happened. They'll need to send another raptor for us. If there is an assassin on board, I'd like to get the president back to Colonial One as soon as possible."

Reakle nodded and hurried off.

The chief approached his captain. He displayed a stunned look on his face. "I know the civies don't trust the military, but did he just…"

He stopped at a wave of Lee's hand. "Got anything?"

Tyrol dropped several small burnt pieces into Lee's hand. "Bomb fragments." He waited while Lee inspected them.

"There's not much left to go on."

"No, Sir. There isn't. I'd suggest sending Galactica's forensic crew over, but I don't think there's much to find."

Lee agreed and then groaned. The chief raised an eyebrow in concern. Lee grimaced shaking his head at how inappropriate his thoughts were. "I don't suppose the files from the past two days of inspections survived."

The chief understood and instantly his face matched. "No, sir."

Several hours later, a raptor landed in an undamaged area of the deck and the hatch slid down. Kara stood grinning in the hatchway. "Need a ride?"

Lee scowled. Tyrol and the President didn't seem to find Kara Thrace's attitude annoying, but Lee knew it was going to be a long flight back.

Kara stepped down as the president bid farewell to Reakle, promising him a full investigation. "Lee, it's bad enough you break your own ship… Now ya gotta ruin other people's toys?"

Lee had had it with accusations about his involvement. "I wasn't anywhere near here."

Kara laughed. "You were on board. Good luck just follows you every where."

Lee's scowl deepened and he stepped around Kara to enter the raptor. He strapped himself into the pilot's seat. He quickly felt Kara's breath on his neck.

"That's my seat. I flew her over. I fly her home."

Lee growled. "I don't think so Lieutenant."

She smirked. "Pulling rank are we?" She slipped into the vacant chair next to his and pushed several buttons to annoy him.

He slapped her hand away and righted the switches. "Grow up!"

Kara figured she knew what was bugging him. Her voice dropped low and became very serious. "It's been months Lee. This isn't related."

Lee stared at her, not knowing whether to be relieved or furious. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Their conversation ended as the president stepped on board with Tyrol closing the hatch behind them. "Thanks for the ride, Lieutenant."

Kara beamed. "You're welcome. I volunteered."

Lee tried to lighten his mood. "She just did it to get out of morning briefings."

Kara looked at him with mock shock. "Captain Adama. Really!"

Tyrol laughed. "Captain, they don't complain about your briefings nearly as much as when Colonel Tigh subs in for you."

Lee shook his head and concentrated on the flight. He needed some peace and quiet to stabilize his internal jitters. What good was a CAG who was terrified of what was around the next corner?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm having issues with FF. (I remember why I stopped.) It doesn't appear to me the story has come up, but friends assure me it has. So, assuming someone is reading this. Here's chapter two.**

**Chapter Two**

Specialist Cally met the raptor. It was all she could do not to hug the chief in relief. Dignity held firm and she merely smiled. "Glad you're back in one piece, Chief."

He laughed. "It's more than I can say for the raptor." He bent over and looked at the bottom of the recently landed craft. As he stood up, he leaned in close to Cally. "Don't tell Boomer, but the gymbal is off." They laughed and started to walk away.

Cally suddenly remembered her orders. "Sir, Captain Adama. The commander wants to see you in his office ASAP."

Lee drew in a deep breath. As he walked to the hatch, he called over his shoulder. "Starbuck… Looks like you win post flights." He grinned despite the circumstances, imagining the expression on her face.

He knocked on the part open door, and hearing a command to enter, stepped inside. "You wanted to see me, sir?" He moved to stand at attention.

"At ease, Lee." Adama hated seeing Lee snap to attention when they were alone. It never felt right to him. It reminded him that to Lee, he was commander first and father second. They'd come a long way in their relationship, but the bridge they were building was tentative at best and they'd had their fair share of skirmishes. "Are you alright?"

Lee relaxed somewhat. "Yes, sir. Fine. We're ALL fine. The Emerald Drifter lost three souls. I'm waiting on the reports before I can offer my full evaluation."

Adama had always thrived on military logic. He enjoyed the structure and purpose it provided. Again he found himself cursing his inability to shut it off. He was alone in his office with his son, who had very nearly been killed. "Frak the report. I want to be sure you're ok."

Lee circled the room with his eyes and rolled his shoulders. His words were clipped. "I was no where near the explosion, dad. I'm fine."

"Are you?" Adama eyed him closely, looking for signs of strain. "It wasn't all that long ago…"

Lee cut him off abruptly. "I KNOW DAD! A long time ago on GALACTICA someone tried to get to you by trying to kill me. It's over! I'm fine. We weren't on board." He settled his anger and tried to return to military decorum. "I believe the attack was aimed at the president. I don't recommend she continue the tour."

Adama knew he wasn't going to get anywhere appealing to his son. Lee had shut down. Captain Adama was reporting and there would be nothing else. "Very well then." He couldn't back down entirely despite Lee. "You look tired."

Lee rolled his eyes. "Fine, SIR. Inspections, any change of pace, puts a person off."

"So perhaps you should take the rest of the day off?" Adama offered. "Maybe go check in with Major Cottle."

Lee jumped back to attention. "DAD! With all due respect, I'M FINE! Even if I didn't have to go back out and finish the inspections, much less redo the others, I have more than enough work to catch up on. I have no time for a day off."

Adama found himself enjoying the situation. He'd rattled his son. That didn't happen often. "There's always time for a day off."

Lee's eyes narrowed and he looked directly at his father. "Then might I be so bold as to suggest you take your own advice? When was the last time YOU took a day off?" They both knew Adama hadn't had one official day off since the attacks.

Adama squirmed. "This isn't about me." It sounded lame to them both. "You're due to report to Cottle anyway."

Lee rolled his head and ran his hand through his hair. Every month he was required to report to Cottle for an exam. He'd hated required physicals before. He despised them now. Every month Cottle checked him over, drew blood and proclaimed him fine. Lee had tried skipping one month and they revoked his flight status. "It's like you want to find something wrong with me."

"What?"

Lee hadn't realized he'd spoken out loud. Rather than repeat a statement he knew full well his father had heard, he continued boldly. "I was poisoned. I got sick. I recovered. Why are you two doing this to me?"

"We just want to be sure…"

Lee cut his father off. He'd heard it a million times. "I don't relapse." He stiffened his stance. "How can I relapse from a poison, dad? This is ridiculous. I'll never…" He stopped, knowing he'd said too much.

"You'll never what?" Adama pressed.

Lee shook his head. "Will there be anything else?" This wasn't the time he had intended for this discussion.

"What won't you do, Lee?" Adama ignored all but his son's comment.

Lee made for the door.

"LEE! I didn't dismiss you."

Lee stopped in his tracks. He'd been afraid of that tone his whole life. His only rebellion was to remain facing the door. He couldn't face his father on this. "I'll never get over it and move on if you don't let it go."

Adama was at his son's side in fractions of a second. He didn't bother to try and move Lee. Instead, he stepped in front of him and grabbed his son's shoulders. Lee refused to meet his gaze, but he went on. "I can't, Lee. I can't get over almost losing you. I won't."

There had been only one other time he had so clearly felt his father's love. They had been standing outside CIC and his father has said the fleet would never leave. It had unnerved him. His father had basically said all of humanity would be on hold until Lee was safe. He'd been overwhelmed. Lee shook his head in frustration and moved past his father. There was a time he craved such sentiment from his father. Now, all it seemed to do was weigh him down. It was a stress that bore into his soul every time he entered combat. He didn't need the added burden of living for someone else. It was hard enough to live for himself.

**BSG**

In the days that followed, no one stepped forward to claim responsibility for the attack. The investigation revealed a simple bomb with an even simpler timer. Either it had gone off at the wrong time or had been meant to send a warning.

Lee finished the fleet inspections and was trying to complete the mountain of paperwork on his desk as well. The phone next to him had been ringing for some time before the annoying noise penetrated his thoughts. "Adama."

"Where the frak are you?"

Lee could actually hear the doctor inhaling his cigarette as he spoke. "In my office, but you knew that." He'd long ago stopped respecting the doctor as a military man.

"You were due here thirty minutes ago. My time is precious. I'll just sign these no-fly papers if that's what you'd like."

Lee thought about telling him to go ahead. The rebellious thought felt good. He wondered if Starbuck was rubbing off on him. Then he realized that CAP was the only down time he got these days. It was peaceful in space for the most part. It left him lots of time to think and dream. He couldn't afford to lose this. Some days, it was all that kept him going. "On my way."

Twenty minutes later, after having been poked, prodded and drained, Cottle blew smoke in Lee's face. "Good for another month unless there's something else."

Lee hopped off the bed, but was stopped by the Doctor's grip. "Unless there's something else?"

Lee scowled. "There's nothing else." He wasn't released.

"Are you sure?" Cottle inhaled deeply.

"I don't have time for games. Make your point." Lee demanded.

Cottle could respect that. "Seems you're not making time to eat either."

Lee's face crossed in puzzlement.

"You've lost weight again. The blood tests are starting to show some deficiencies. Care to explain?"

"I'm busy." He tried to leave again, but this time Cottle's leg blocked him. "Look! I'll eat more. I promise."

"You do that and to be sure, I'll see you in two weeks. I want a weight gain." Cottle dropped his leg and Lee passed. Cottle didn't often let his guard down. It was easier to tend to patients if you were detached. Lee Adama worried him and worse, he didn't know just how much of his worry to pass on to his commanding officer, who would be demanding a report within minutes.

**BSG **

Lee reread the paper in his hand for the third time. He snarled in frustration and slammed his fist on the desktop.

"Is this a bad time?" Sharon "Boomer" Valerii stuck her head through the open hatch. "I can come back."

He shook off his foul mood and waved her in. "Just sick of paperwork. I was in the military to fly vipers, not ride a desk and suffer paper cuts."

Boomer considered his words a moment. "You didn't think you'd be promoted out of the cockpit eventually?"

He met her eyes and then looked quickly away. "I'm not my father. I came in through the reserves. I never planned on making it a lifetime career."

"Really?" Sharon sank uninvited onto the chair in front of his work-laden desk. "What would you have done?"

Lee started laughing. "I have no frakin' idea. I just knew I wasn't a lifer."

"And that's changed now? You'll follow the Admiral's footsteps?" She logically surmised.

"I guess the Cylons made that decision for me." He shook off the melancholy thoughts and straightened his shoulders. "You needed to see me?"

She smiled. "I have those ECO quality reports you asked about." She eyed his desk. "Although it looks like you have more than enough to handle. I can come back later if you'd like."

He held out his hand to take the report. "No. The distraction will be nice. I've read this same page three times."

She handed him the report and watched him as he skimmed it. A cold shiver ran down her spine. She wasn't exactly sure what her role in the attacks on him had been, but she prayed to the gods each night that it had been a temporary insanity. She hadn't dared mention it to anyone, not even Tyrol. There was a big part of her that wanted to find out the truth, but so far she'd managed to shove the urge far down inside her soul.

They were just finishing the meeting when Kara popped in. "Let's go." She ignored Lee and was obviously talking to Boomer.

Lee was tired, but not dumb. "I'm sorry. I've kept you too long." He couldn't resist a jab at his number one problem pilot. "The report was perfect. It was nice to have everything organized and on time." His eyes rested on Lieutenant Thrace. "Perhaps the Lieutenant could benefit from your example."

Kara scrunched her face and stuck her tongue out at him. "Let's go. I'm hungry."

Boomer stood tentatively up. "Sir, would you like to join us for dinner?"

Lee hesitated, but ultimately couldn't pull his eyes from the stacks of work. "Thanks anyway. I'm not quite ready."

Kara eyed her CAG and friend closely. He looked drawn and pale. He carried a fake façade. Those that didn't know him well, which was most everyone, saw nothing out of the ordinary. She knew better. Lee had been too stressed for too long. "Listen, Flyboy. We're going to dinner and you're going with us. On your feet."

Lee glared at her and raised an eyebrow. "Are you giving me an order?"

She smiled. "Yes."

"You know I'm your superior officer?"

She grinned more. "I know you have a bigger title."

His eyes narrowed, masking his humor. "And you don't mind giving me an order in front of a junior officer?"

Kara's face screwed up. For just a moment, she worried that she might have really gone too far. The small spark in Lee's eyes gave him away. "I have a reputation to uphold. Besides, she invited you."

Lee stood and buttoned his jacket. "I noticed you didn't. Some friend."

Kara sputtered, but then laughed it off.

**BSG **

For several weeks following the explosion, Lee felt his father's eyes on him even more often, if possible. It seemed to be settling down, finally. He was relaxing more. He'd not gained weight when he saw Cottle, but he hadn't lost either, so his argument that he was fine, held.

Lee considered Cottle as he headed for the deck. A part of him was nagging for confession. Cottle seemed to be a natural recipient. Lee considered telling him about his troubled sleep and sleepwalking. It had happened one time since the explosion. He woke to find himself in the deserted mess hall.

The lack of sleep was beginning to catch up with him. He had dozed off at a meeting yesterday. Luckily, the president was more understanding and less concerned. Had his father been present, it would have ended differently. He didn't think drugs from the major would solve the problem either. He knew he was having bizarre dreams. They would startle him awake, but he never remembered them.

He sighed. He had six hours to contemplate his problems. He was going on patrol. He completed his pre-flight inspections and pulled the top half of his flight suit on.

Kara strolled up behind him. "You just disappointed half the flight deck."

"Pardon?" Lee questioned, zipping his suit.

"The ladies," she paused glancing around, "and some of the men I suspect, love seeing you in half a flight suit."

Lee blushed a vivid red. "Starbuck!"

She laughed. "Kiddo's a bit nervous about flying with you."

Lee frowned. "What did I ever do to him?" He didn't like the idea that one of his pilot's didn't trust him.

"He's in awe of you. He's afraid of frakkin' up." She saw his concern and added. "I have no idea why."

He laughed softly. "Good to know. I'll be nice."

She wrinkled her nose. "Load him up with compliments."

A small smile formed on his lips. "Thank the lords I have you to show me how to do my job."

She bounced on her heels and smiled brightly. "You're welcome."

**BSG **

Patrol was uneventful, as most were, until the last circle of the fleet. Just as Lee was giving Kiddo the order to head for home two cylon raiders jumped into the fleet. He quickly updated Galactica and moved to pursue. Kiddo followed. Lee vaguely heard Dee's voice telling him reinforcements were on the way and would be at their location in two minutes.

Apollo took one of the raiders out quickly. Kiddo was struggling with the other, but Lee held slightly back. He wanted to build the rook's confidence. He wasn't about to let the kid die, so he held close by. Just as Kiddo took out the second raider, Lee's console began to scream. Six additional raiders had jumped in. The fleet was jumping and he heard Kara's voice telling him they were 40 seconds out.

Normally, with the fleet jumping, help on the way and only a rook as wingman, Lee would have merely held back, not allowing the enemy to advance, but not attacking. It was standard procedure. From somewhere deep within Lee's mind, he hit the thrust and attacked the nearest ship. He never heard Starbuck screaming at him. He didn't hear the near misses exploding just outside his ship. He flew wildly, firing at anything disc shaped. He didn't hear the order to return to Galactica. In his mind he saw only the one remaining raider and he intended to destroy it.

"APOLLO, DESIST AND RETURN HOME!" Kara screamed in his ear.

He smiled. "Not yet. I got this one."

Kara was stunned. She had no idea who this was. Lee Adama was never reckless. He was known for his precision and cunning, but never recklessness. That was her bag. Something in her gut told her this was not good.

Again the order to return came through and Lee ignored it. Kara wasn't waiting any longer. She zoomed ahead and maneuvered around Lee dodging in and out of the fire from the raider. She wasn't actually sure whose shot hit the target, but the raider exploded. She half expected Lee to shout with glee, but there was no response from his ship. She looked over and saw him staring blankly at the empty space where the raider had once been. "Lee," she said softly, "let's get back before they jump without us."

It was so soft she barely heard him. "No, he said he'd never leave." She wasn't entirely sure to what Lee was referring. What frightened her most was the total absence of spirit in his voice. There was definitely a problem.


	3. Chapter 3

**Got my FF problems figured out. ...slapping head... Thanks for reading.**

**Chapter Three**

Apollo and Starbuck landed and they held their positions as a slight shudder ran through the Galactica as she jumped. Once passed, both climbed down the stairs. Any lack of spirit on Apollo's part was now over. He thundered down on her. "What in the frak did you think you were doing?"

"What? ME? What were you doing? You defied the recall." She countered.

"I had him. You weren't needed." He leaned in menacingly.

She met his stance. "I wasn't trying to get myself killed."

The statement stunned Lee. His shoulders fell back and his body relaxed. "I… I wasn't…"

She didn't relax. There was no way Lee was getting away with this behavior. It scared her too much. "What's wrong with you?"

He found his resolve. "Nothing! You had no right to step in and if you do it again, you'll spend a month in hack." He stormed off. He didn't get far before the page came across the ship's address system.

"Pass the word for Captain Adama. Captain Adama to CIC."

Lee stopped in his tracks. He debated ignoring it, but he knew it would only make things worse. He groaned and made his way to Galactica's hub.

He didn't have to ask who summoned him, his father was watching for him. "Walk with me captain."

Lee sensed the hopelessness of a fight and complied. They walked in silence until Adama shut the hatch to his quarters. Lee expected a few more minutes of tense, silent punishment. It didn't happen. "You ignored the recall."

Lee's head dropped and he pinched his lips together in an attempt to control his response. Taking a deep breath he prepared to do battle again. "I had him. I just needed another minute."

Adama didn't look at him. "You were reckless."

Anger welled up inside the younger Adama. "Why is it reckless to want to finish the battle?"

Adama's sharp eyes honed in on Lee's. "The battle was over. We were ready to jump. You endangered this ship by your delay."

Lee's anger erupted. His head bounced up and down with mock agreement. "OF COURSE!" He slapped his forehead. "What was I thinking? Only the great Starbuck gets to defy orders and get away with it." He looked at his commanding officer with mock sincerity. "I promise it'll never happen again. We all know where your true loyalty lies!" Lee did something he'd never done in his entire life. He left.

Adama stood stunned watching his son's retreating form.

**BSG**

Adama spent a sleepless night determining how to handle the incident. Any other pilot would have spent a minimum of a month in the brig. In light of recent events with Lee and the nature of the accusation, Adama opted to let it slide. In fact, he said nothing at all.

Lee spent the same evening expecting the marines to show up and drag him to hack. At one point, he was going to walk himself down and sign in. He held his breath when he met his father the next morning. His ego was stroked when the Admiral said nothing. Lee couldn't help but feel he'd scored a victory. He avoided thinking about the cost.

He continued to sleep very little. His nerves were frayed and his temper short. It didn't take the nervous glances from crew members to remind him. He was very aware of his attitude and behaviors. He didn't like it, but had no idea how to stop it. Nothing he tried worked.

He found himself screaming at Cally for a minor offense. He started to walk away and stopped. He didn't need to turn around to know he'd left the young woman shaken and distraught. He drew in a deep breath and returned to her. "I'm sorry, Cally. You didn't deserve that." He couldn't say more. All he could do was act. He marched himself to Life Station and confided the sleeping problem to the doctor.

"You should have said something sooner." Cottle reprimanded as he finished filling the small vial with pills.

Lee accepted the vial. "I know, but I can't be drugged up and fly." He wasn't going to allow Cottle to guilt him. He was good enough at it on his own. "I'm only taking these if I need them."

"Damn straight. We don't have an unlimited supply." He stepped back. "Those aren't a strong enough level to keep you out of the cockpit. If they don't work, I'll have to ground you. There are a few days in that bottle. If it doesn't work out by then, you're back here. Got it?"

Lee nodded.

That evening, Lee avoided the pills. Despite getting them, he wasn't convinced he needed them. He hoped merely the threat would be enough to convince his subconscious to let him rest. After an hour of twisting and turning, he knew it was hopeless. He dragged his legs over the side of his rack and grabbed at the bottle on the shelf above his head. He tapped two pills into the palm of his hand and brought them to his mouth to swallow. He couldn't get them in his mouth. He fought his own mind and willed his hand to release them to his tongue, but nothing happened. Assuming it was the idea of dry swallowing, he rose and moved to the head. He grabbed a small cup, filled it with water and repeated the attempt to swallow.

His hand shook before his eyes. He had no idea what was happening. His mind was ordering his hand to open and drop the pills into his mouth, but his hand refused to comply. His head began to throb at the effort and he staggered back to his rack. Again he tried to take the pills, but something was stopping him.

He struggled to control his breathing. He felt like his sanity was slipping away from him. He glanced around the empty room. He'd moved into the vacant section of officer's quarters a few days ago, hoping the tranquility would help ease his sleep. It hadn't worked.

The pills dropped from his hand and he wrapped his arms around his chest. Falling back onto the bunk, he rocked slightly from side to side and soon, his body drifted off to a restless sleep.

He woke the next morning at revelry and dragged himself into a sitting position. He ran his hands through his hair. He had slept, and he didn't recall dreaming, but his body felt shaky. He held his hands in front of him and watched them tremble. He shook them and looked again. A dark spot on the side of his right hand caught his eye. He turned his hand and noticed black streaks all along the side. It made no sense. He looked around his bunk trying to find the source, but found nothing.

Jumping up, determined to shake his lingering paranoia, he showered and readied himself for the day. He marched confidently into the briefing room and was greeted by a wave of hesitant salutes. He sensed a problem immediately, but knew he hadn't done anything yet to warrant the attitude. "What seems to be the problem?" he demanded.

Kara didn't hesitate to respond. "Is this a joke?"

Lee's expression remained neutral and calm. "I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific, Starbuck."

She pointed behind him to the pilot's schedule board.

He glanced quickly behind and noted her goal. "I don't understand. I put the schedule up last night. It's nothing different."

"The frak it isn't!" She stood up and marched boldly to the schedule. "This is utterly frakked up. You've got rooks with rooks and ECOs on vipers. It's a mess."

Lee turned to read the schedule as she spoke. His face grew red with anger. "This isn't a funny prank! Someone's obviously messed with the board. That's not the schedule I put up last night."

The room was silent as pilots nervously glanced at one another. Lee gave them a moment. "This isn't funny. This is a very serious violation and who ever is responsible needs to confess now!" He eyed Kara specifically.

She glared at him. "I didn't do it. Even I'm not that big an idiot."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Lee raised an eyebrow. She didn't respond. He allowed another moment of silence before again speaking. "Fine! We'll check the hard copy for now and this will be corrected." He pulled open the small file on the podium and flipped through several pages. The hardcopy was gone. He glanced around. "This is getting more serious and less funny by the moment. Hand it over!"

Kara moved to the podium. "What?"

He threw her a glare as if she was playing. "The schedule. I always keep it here."

She grabbed the folder and checked it herself , next she moved him over and went through the podium. As she was coming up the other side she happened to glance down into the metal waste basket on the floor. "Oh no," she hadn't even seen it, but instinct told her what it was. She bent over and pulled out what remained of a charred piece of paper. Only the top corner remained. The only words visible were 'flight schedule'.

Lee pulled it together and ran the briefing. He knew the flight rotations for the day and promised the rest would be redone by that afternoon. He ignored the departures and was shuffling through the folder again. He was half expecting a miracle copy to appear. He was furious at the turn of events. He'd gotten enough sleep to be slightly optimistic about the day but now, it was worse than ever.

Kara stuck around after he'd dismissed the group. "Why did you do it? I mean I've told you you're the world's worst CAG, but I don't see a point in this at all. You've got the real copy somewhere right?"

Lee glared at her. "What are you saying? You think I messed up the board and destroyed the schedule on purpose? Those things take hours. I'm not an idiot." He shook his head. "I can't believe you'd have the audacity to even suggest it… oh, but wait. You're the mighty Starbuck. Of course you would."

She didn't back down. "Knock it off. It's obvious it was you. It's your handwriting Lee."

Lee was stunned. He looked over his shoulder and shook his head in denial. "I did no such thing." He looked back at her, knowing something wasn't right. "Someone is playing with my mind." He pushed the smudge on his hand out of his mind.

Kara was worried. Lee hadn't been 'right' for weeks now. She was trying a relatively new approach for her, she was backing off. The old Starbuck would have been riding his case, demanding answers weeks ago. It had obviously been the wrong choice. "Lee, do you swear you didn't do this?"

He picked up the charred remains of the schedule. "Why do you keep asking? Why would I possible do something so stupid?"

Old Starbuck was back in charge. She was kickin' ass and takin' names. "Why would you purposely ignore a recall order?"

Lee was stunned. "Say what you mean, Lieutenant."

"You've been working hard. Maybe you need a break." She said more softly, less threateningly.

Lee moved from stunned to angry. "You think my solution to my workload is to get myself killed and then create even more work by destroying a schedule that took days to perfect? Who's the crazy one here?"

Kara ignored his logic. She could only hear what her gut was telling her. All was not right with Lee Adama. As his friend, she was going to make him face the truth. "Maybe you should take some time off? Head over to Cloud Nine and let loose for a change. I know the old man would approve it. He's worried too."

Lee's eyes flared and Kara knew she'd made a big mistake. "You've been talking to my FATHER about this?"

"We care about you."

Lee's eyes grew cold. "You're dismissed Lieutenant. I have work to do." He held up the charred paper. "More now than ever it seems. I'm sure the Chief can use your help on the deck."

**BSG**

Lee battled his inner demons alone. He avoided everyone for days. He reported when ordered and kept his reports short and to the point. He flew his CAPS and continued to live alone, hiding when necessary. Cottle summoned him to Life Station and asked about the pills. Lee told him he hadn't been using them. It wasn't technically a lie. He hadn't been able to swallow any of the pills. If he managed to get the pill into his mouth, he couldn't swallow it. He trudged on, refusing to give in to the exhaustion that threatened to claim him at any moment.

Adama would never know what woke him that night, but sleep refused to reclaim him. He dressed and strolled through his quiet ship. He dared anyone to criticize her now. She'd been the joke of the fleet prior to her decommissioning. He'd ignored them all, like he always had. Tragically, he knew he would have the last laugh. He ran his hand along her walls, now more often than not, marred by battle damage. Repairs were always hasty. He'd love to stop and allow Tyrol and his crew a few months to work. He was still optimistic it might one day happen.

He turned the corner and found himself wandering toward the repair side of the bay. He expected it to be silent and empty. It was a good place to think. He'd found Lee there once before. He suspected Lee spent his fair share of time escaping the world there as well. He climbed down the ladder and smiled at the sight before him, a pair of legs. Realistically, he couldn't have known the legs belonged to his son, but his heart told him it was. He watched quietly and listened. There was however, no noise other than the clang of tools against the bottom of the viper. Adama found it odd. He'd read the ship status report before turning in. Lee's viper, the ship that now covered his son, was listed as fully ready after being down for repairs.

"You don't trust the Chief's repairs?" He said brightly, jumping off the ledge to get closer to his son.

There was no response from Lee.

He sank to the ground, assuming Lee hadn't heard him. "We have crew for this. Pilots can rest now and again." He placed his hand on Lee's leg, not wanting to surprise the intent pilot.

There was still no response.

Concern grew in Adama's heart. Lee had been avoiding him for weeks. Cottle confirmed his son was medically 'alright', but it wasn't enough. He wondered if again, he hadn't failed as a father. Perhaps he shouldn't have allowed his son the space he seemed to desire. Adama stretched out on his back and slid under the ship to settle next to his son.

Lee Adama had absolutely no idea anyone else was present, much less his father. He kept right on working.

"Lee?" Adama reached out and touched his son's hand, but there was absolutely no response. He looked closer at Lee's work and was stunned. He watched his son pull a cable and reconnect it to the wrong terminal. Adama looked closer and saw much of Lee's wiring falsely connected. He shuddered. A control panel would cover the wires and it would never be checked in the preflights. Damage like this would surely cause his son's viper and whoever was flying it to explode in flight.

He slid back out and grabbed Lee's legs, pulling him from under the viper.

Lee's arms still mechanically moved, as if he was still under the viper, creating havoc. It took many moments for his movements to stop.

Adama stared in terror at Lee's glazed over eyes. There was no life, no recognition. His body moved, but Lee's spirit was dead. Straddling his son's prone form, he slapped sharply at Lee's face.

Lee's eyes blinked. He dropped the tools and his hand went to his smarting face. "What? What did you do that for?"

Gone was the vacancy. Instead, Adama met confused, dull blue eyes, focused on him.

"You weren't responding." Adama said, pulling his son into an upright position and settling down next to him. "It scared me."

"So you slapped me? You've been hanging around Kara too long." Lee continued to rub at his chin, wondering at his father's strength, so much for being the son of 'the old man'.

Adama almost laughed at his son's sudden change in nature, but the humor wasn't quite enough to distract him. "What are you doing here and what were you thinking?"

Lee suddenly looked around and fear flooded his eyes. He whispered. "How did I get here?"

It was almost too soft for Adama to hear. "You don't remember coming to the deck?" He asked, concerned.

Lee scanned the room. "I'm on the deck? I was in my rack…" He fell silent and grew more confused.

"So you don't remember rewiring your ship?" Adama pushed on.

Lee glared at him. "Tyrol finally got her up and running. I don't need to do anything."

Adama pointed to the open access panel under the ship. "I just found you messing up the entire guidance system, probably fire control too." He stopped and took a deep breath. "Lee, if you don't want to fly CAP, you need to say so. You don't need to sabotage your ship to avoid duty. Talk to me!"

Lee was stunned. His head sank to his chest and slowly rolled back and forth. He felt a gentle pressure on his shoulder and realized it was his father's hand. He reached up and grasped it with his own. "I don't know."

"Lee, this has gone on too long. Tell me what's wrong."

Lee looked up and met his father's concerned expression. "I don't know. I don't remember coming here. I don't remember working on my ship. I was asleep in my rack and the next thing I know, you're slapping me. That's all I know."

Adama's concern was as palpable as Lee's fear. "Has this happened before?"

Lee nodded slowly. "On the Emerald Drifter and several times here." He looked at his father and an idea suddenly washed over him. "I'm going insane, aren't I? You… You and Cottle knew something was wrong, that's why you've been watching me so closely. Why did you keep it from me? What's wrong with me?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Lots of people are reading, thank you. I'm trying for once a day posting, however it might be delayed this weekend. Thanks again.**

**Chapter Four**

Lee rambled on in panic. Adama did his best to calm his son, but nothing worked. Finally, he gave Lee a powerful shake. Lee stopped instantly and stared dumbly at his father.

"I don't know what's going on, but we'll get you to Cottle and he'll figure this out. I'm sure you're not going insane."

Lee allowed his father to help him stand and remained quiet while they walked to Life Station. He didn't need words at the moment. He knew the truth in his heart. He was going insane and there wasn't anything they could do to stop it.

**BSG**

Lee sat quietly on the exam bed. Adama nervously puttered with items on a tray nearby.

Cottle pulled back the curtain, as Adama dropped an instrument. "Who's the child here?"

Adama straightened his back and glared at the doctor. "What did the tests show?"

Cottle pulled up a stool and sat. "Nothing yet, these are pretty preliminary. The real tests need to be run tomorrow. We don't wake up the specially trained staff unless it's critical." He couldn't resist the jab. He didn't enjoy being disturbed during a rare night of sleep.

Lee added nothing, but started to get off the table. He was stopped by two different arms.

"Where do you think you're going?" said his father.

"Not so fast, hotshot." said Cottle. "I didn't say we were through. How many of those pills have you taken?"

"Pills?" Adama interjected, "What pills?"

Cottle silenced the Admiral with a glare of his own, and then returned his focus to Lee. "How many?"

"None" Lee whispered.

Cottle said nothing, simply continued with his questions. "And how many times do you remember sleep walking?"

Lee thought a moment, "three or four I guess."

Adama was about to speak, but held his tongue when Cottle glanced his way.

"Anything else?"

Lee didn't understand. "What do you mean?"

Cottle frowned. "Is there any other symptom you're not telling me about?"

Lee spoke softly. "Nothing physical."

Adama spoke before Cottle could cut him off. "What does that mean, son?"

Lee looked back and forth between the two men. "I can't explain it. I just don't feel right. I feel like I'm losing my mind."

Adama sighed, not willing to consider the possibility. "It's just the exhaustion, Lee. You're tired. We all get that way."

Cottle groaned. He stood up, grabbed a syringe from the tray and before Lee could react, jabbed a needle in the young man's arm.

"HEY! What was tha…" Lee slumped. Adama caught him and between the two men, they settled him on the bed.

Adama raised an eyebrow and looked at Cottle as he drew a blanket up under Lee's chin. He didn't need words.

"We know one thing. He needs rest. Now, he'll get it."

Adama studied his sleeping son for a moment. "Will he sleepwalk again?"

The doctor laughed. "Not a chance. I don't suspect he'll even wake until tomorrow afternoon. Come back then. We'll have more fun with him."

Adama was stunned. "I'm not leaving my son." Deep down, he knew he couldn't stay, but the words felt good.

Cottle rolled his eyes. "I promise you. He's not going anywhere and the fleet doesn't need you exhausting yourself as well. Get out, that's an order."

Adama opened his mouth to argue, but seeing the glint in Cottle's eye caused him to reconsider. "You'll…"

Cottle waved him off. "I'll contact you if anything changes. Meanwhile, we'll run a few tests while he's out." He turned to leave, but stopped at the edge of the curtain. "There's a psychologist over on Cloud Nine. He's not a specialist in this area, but he's better than nothing. I think we could use him."

Adama's eyes narrowed. "You think this is in his head, stress induced?"

Cottle shrugged. "I don't know what to think. I mean jeez, we've lost our home worlds, our loved ones, we've been constantly on the run for more months than I can count and he's constantly risking his life to save our sorry hides… Maybe he's stressed out. Maybe not?"

BSG

Adama stopped to update Kara on what had happened to Lee and between them they vowed to be with him.

Agron Athelis was delivered to Adama's quarters by noon the following day. He seemed a bit hesitant as he sat on the other side of the big desk. "I'm not sure why I'm here, Admiral."

"We've got a lot of stress on board. Some of our people need to work it out. Is that so hard to believe?" Adama offered. He wasn't ready to admit the first patient was his son.

"I've never worked with the military before. I don't know if I can help."

Adama leaned forward. "You're all we've got and your first patient is rather important to me." He quickly added, "to us all."

Agron tried never to let powerful people intimidate him, but this was William Adama, savior of humanity. He struggled to remain calm. "Who is it you'd like me to help?"

"My son, Lee."

Agron was shocked. "Apollo?"

Adama couldn't help but smile at the recognition. "I see you've heard of him."

"Who hasn't? He's a hero. Do you know how many women fantasize about him after that Biers interview? It's all I hear about from my women clients." Just then, Athelis noted who he was talking to and what he was talking about. _So much for not being intimidating._ "Where is he?"

Adama walked him to Life Station as he explained the situation.

It was lunchtime when they entered Life Station and an aide was delivering meals to the patients. She'd just come out of the curtained area where Lee lay. Adama stopped her. "Is Captain Adama awake?"

She chuckled. "Kinda." After she'd sauntered off, the two men stepped behind Lee's curtain. He seemed to be dozing. Adama sat on the stool at his son's bedside and called softly to him. "Lee?"

Lee's nose twitched and he snorted softly, mumbling something incoherent.

Adama grinned at his son's innocent and childish behavior. "Lee, can you wake up for me?" Adama knew his son was tired, but he longed to see his blue eyes. He needed the reassurance for himself.

Lee's childlike expression vanished and words spilled from his mouth. "No. You won't win."

Adama looked to Athelis for confirmation of what he'd just heard. The psychologist moved closer when Lee continued to mutter.

"I won't let you. I'll kill myself first. You don't exist."

The threat was clear to both men. Adama didn't want to hear more. He slapped gently at his son's face and called to Lee. He was about to intensify his actions when Cottle entered the area. "Quit assaulting my patients. He'll wake when he's good and ready. Until then, you'll leave him alone."

Athelis coughed and raised his hand to interrupt. "Doctor Cottle, I presume? I'm Agron Athelis" He dropped his hand, offering it to Cottle, who ignored it. Pulling his hand back, he continued. "I agree that the captain needs sleep, but I might advise restraints as well."

Cottle had been checking Lee's vitals, but he whirled on Athelis. "The man's exhausted, not psychotic."

"I disagree. Based on what we just heard, I believe the captain may be suicidal. It would explain his sleepwalking."

Both men looked at the newcomer, stunned. Adama asked the obvious question. The tone in his voice was hostile. He was a military father whose son, a true hero, was just maligned. "How so?"

Agron coughed to clear his throat, buying time and then continued. "If a part of the captain has thrown in the towel, so to speak, it could be we are witnessing an internal struggle to end the suffering. His subconscious is finding ways for him to die, without making him have to overtly kill himself." He looked at Adama. "It could be he's trying to prevent you from being shamed at his weakness. I've seen it before."

Adama shook his head. "That's ridiculous. Lee is exhausted, not suicidal."

Athelis felt confident enough to stand by his assessment. "Well, obviously I'd need to talk more with the captain, but are you willing to take the risk? If he's able to over power the side that's keeping him alive," he gestured around Life Station, "there's plenty here that he could use to do himself in quite quickly."

Adama fought to contain his fury at the mere suggestion. Cottle however, was not as emotionally involved. He bent low and pulled open a drawer on the small bedside cupboard. He pulled out several cushioned restraints. "What the frak? It won't hurt, right?"

BSG

The room wasn't well lit. Cylon technology didn't create a need for proper lighting. Even the humanoid models had eyes that adjusted to any conditions. The six model entered and joined her colleagues at the table.

"It's begun."

A voice from a shadowed corner of the room spoke next. "How long will it take? We've waited too long as it is."

She swallowed. "Unknown. This is the first time we've tried the procedure. It appears…" She glanced at the others in the room. They were hanging on her every word. "His subconscious is aware of our presence and fighting control."

"Then god will increase his presence."

BSG

Kara slipped behind the curtain to check on Lee. Fury sprang up in her as she saw the restraints. She immediately went about removing them.

"I wouldn't do that."

The voice startled her and she spun around to meet Adama. He looked older and impossibly tired. "Sir, why?" He'd only looked this way once before, when Lee was dying.

"The therapist we brought over seems to think he might be suicidal." He choked on his words.

Kara shook her head, stunned. "No, frakkin way. NO!" She ignored Adama and turned back to undo the strap on Lee's wrist. His hand rested on hers, staying it. She whispered. "Lee doesn't want to die. I'd know."

He squeezed her hand. "I don't like it either, but we need the time to find out. I'm not going to take the chance. I won't lose him."

She released the strap. "He'll be furious."

Adama chuckled. "I know. I'm counting on it. I'm counting on some Lee Adama fire!"

**BSG**

Adama's hopes were dashed when Lee woke later that evening, completely accepting of his restraints. He said very little. "It's probably for the best. I might hurt someone."

"We weren't worried about you hurting someone Lee…" His voice faded out as Lee's pained eyes met his.

"I would be. Maybe I caused the explosion. What if I hadn't been the one flying my bird?" He couldn't even admit the further fears going through his mind.

"You weren't." Adama paused in frustration. He had no idea how to help his son. When Lee had been poisoned, he could will him his strength. Now, he felt more helpless than ever. "Lee, we've all been through a lot. You're tired. I really believe a good rest is all you need." He'd been trying to figure out how to deliver the news, now seemed as good a time as possible. "We got you a suite on Cloud Nine for a vacation."

Lee rolled his head away, clenched his eyes tightly shut and after composing himself, looked back. "For how long?"

Adama knew he was dancing around the truth with his son. He didn't like it. "Long enough for you to get some rest."

Lee turned his head and stared at the ceiling. "Am I coming back?"

Adama growled the answer to what he thought was a ridiculous question. "Of course. We… I need you here."

Lee sensed something more. "So, I'm just going on a vacation until you and Cottle think I'm fit again?"

Adama glanced at his watch as a distraction. "Doctor Athelis will also advise us."

"Doctor Athelis?" Lee asked as a deeper darkness swallowed the room.

"He's a psychologist. We've spoken to him and he thinks he can help you." Adama coughed nervously.

"So we all agree I'm frakking up? Maybe I won't be back." Lee said, dejected.

Adama growled again. "That attitude is unacceptable, Lee. We're going to get through this."

Lee rolled over on his side. It was awkward, as his arms were still restrained. In a voice barely above a whisper, he spoke. "I'm sorry. This isn't what you wanted for your son. It can't be easy for you. I wonder what people are saying? I'm sorry I've embarrassed you."

Adama rested his hand on Lee's shoulder. "I don't care about anyone else. That's not important. This is about you."

"But it's the truth."

BSG

Adama accompanied Lee to Cloud Nine the following day. Lee scowled as they stepped into the raptor. "You don't need to come."

Adama smiled. "I'm not allowed some time off?"

Lee's expression didn't change. "I don't need a babysitter. I can check into a room by myself." He pointedly added. "And I've no intention off offing myself today or any time soon."

Adama ignored his son's negative attitude and continued with his own. "That's good to hear. I'll sleep better. The truth of the matter is I hear Cloud Nine is nice, fake grass and water. I wouldn't mind a bit of phony sunshine."

After checking into his room, the Adamas had dinner at one of the restaurants. Adama was interested in a stroll around the park, but Lee claimed to be tired and returned to his room.

Lee was lying on his bed, feeling sorry for himself an hour later when a knock came at the door. He opened it to find his father and a stranger.

"This is Doctor Athelis. I met him in the park and thought I'd make the introduction."

Athelis held out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Captain. I admit. I'm a big fan."

Lee frowned, releasing the man's hand. "A fan, Doctor Athelis?"

He laughed softly. "Call me Agron. What I mean is, you're a hero and it's my honor to meet you."

Lee turned from the two men. "Too bad your hero turned out to be such a frakkin' disappointment. You and my father must have a lot in common."

Adama's body jerked forward in anger. Athelis stilled him with an arm and a look. "You have a difficult job. It's my honor to help you work through some of the stress."

"Great thanks… when do we begin?" Lee's enthusiasm was obviously faked.

Athelis dropped a paper on the side table. "Here are the directions to my office. How about 9am tomorrow?"

"Sure. I'll be there." Lee said, with no emotion.

BSG

Kara met Adama's ship when it returned. "How did it go?"

Adama's scowl was all she needed.

"He'll be fine. A couple days of lounging alongside the pool, soaking up the fake sun will do him a world of good."

Adama stopped and looked into Kara's eyes. "I don't know anymore. I just don't know."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Lee had debated not going to his session. Maybe what he needed was an out from military life though? This could be it. Duty pushed him out of the bed and into the shower. He knocked on Athelis' door at 9am promptly.

"Reporting as ordered, Doctor Athelis." He announced from the doorway.

Athelis moved from behind his desk, smiling. "It's Agron and I hope you don't feel you were ordered. I was under the impression you weren't happy with how things were going in your life."

Lee looked at him, questions in his eyes. "Does anyone like how things are going?"

Agron smiled more broadly. "It's the optimist in me. I heard you are also an optimist."

"Getting right to the point, are we? You've heard a lot." Lee asked bluntly.

"Why not? It's my job to get to know my clients and you didn't answer."

"Not a patient? I'm a client? I suppose I used to be optimistic, but things have changed." Lee mused.

"Why?" Agron ignored the first question.

Lee was stunned. "Excuse me? Look around you."

"Of course, there's the obvious, but it was only recently that you lost your optimism."

Lee's shock was turning to anger. "Look, I don't know I was ever all that optimistic. Let's not play games. What do you want from me? What do I need to tell you to be done with this charade?" Lee wasn't sure who was talking. It didn't sound like him.

Agron remained as calm as ever. "Ok, no games. I want to know what's going on in your head. So tell me."

Lee sank into a chair. "I don't know what's going on in my head. If I did, I'd stop it. I don't exactly like it."

"Are you open to various treatments?"

Lee growled, much like his father. "I'm not interested in a drugged existence."

Agron shook his head. "No. I don't imagine you are and I wasn't suggesting drugs at this time. I was referring to mild sedation or hypnosis."

Lee thought for a moment. "I don't think hypnosis will work. I've been trained…" He didn't finish his statement. It sounded arrogant to him.

"Good point and I agree. There is a mild sedative that I can administer that would relax you."

"So would a good frak." Lee couldn't believe his own ears and a blush crept across his cheeks.

Agron laughed. "Well, I hope the offer wasn't for me, but I suppose I could find a more suitable and willing partner if you'd like. If that's all you need…"

Lee laughed. It was loud and pure and it felt good. He looked at Agron and felt that maybe the man could actually help him. "You need a vein?" He held out an arm.

BSG

Adama ran to the deck. He'd been stunned to hear that Lee and Athelis were en route to Galactica. He hadn't expected his son to return for at least a week. Lee had earned that much of a rest. Two days didn't seem like enough.

He arrived at the deck at the same time as Major Cottle. It confused him and he didn't like being out of the loop. "Why are you here?"

"Athelis called me. He wants tests done on Apollo. He said he's been experiencing severe headaches and that I should meet them."

"Why didn't he tell me this?" Adama was furious he hadn't been informed of this development.

"Why would I know?" Cottle pondered sarcastically.

The two men waited for the shuttle to open. Adama was stunned at his son's appearance. Athelis was supporting Lee, whose head hung low. As they navigated the ramp, Lee struggled to look up. He was pale and drawn. Adama jumped to his son's side and took over for Athelis. "What the frak happened?" he demanded.

"Let's get Lee to life station and then we'll talk." Athelis pleaded. Lee was oblivious to what was going on.

Once Cottle had assumed control of Lee, Adama turned on Athelis. "What happened?"

"Is there someplace private we can talk?"

As he asked, Kara rushed in. "I just heard about Lee. What the frak's going on?"

Adama assumed a command tenor. "Come with us. Athelis is about to share." The three took over a small conference room nearby.

Athelis was a bit unnerved by the glares he was receiving from the Admiral and the hotshot pilot. He coughed, sucked up his courage and began. "We decided to use a mild sedative to relax Lee so he could open up. He was having a hard time expressing what was going on inside his head."

"Go on." Adama ordered.

"It took some time, but gradually, he began to describe another presence in his mind…"

Adama cut him off. "You thought it was a suicidal subconscious."

"At first, but as he said more, my opinion changed."

"To what?" Kara didn't like where any of this was going.

"I began to think perhaps he'd developed a split personality."

Both Adama and Kara were too stunned to react.

"I began to treat it as such. I worked to draw out this other personality. He fought it at first. I've never seen that before. Typically, personalities don't acknowledge sharing the same body. Lee fought to keep the other dormant. He knew it was inside him."

"Lee's a warrior." Adama countered. Kara nodded in agreement.

"You missed my point. Personalities don't know of the existence of the others in the same body. Lee does."

"Ok, so. Did you bring this other Lee out?" Kara asked, not buying the doctor's story.

Athelis pulled out a small tape recorder. "Listen!" He pushed the play button.

"_Lee, why are you fighting?"_

"_Don't let him out. He's evil."_

"_How do you know?"_

"_I have been fighting him for months. I know he's evil. Why do you think I fight him?"_

"_Ok, but perhaps you should let me be the judge of how evil he is? Let him out."_

Athelis stopped the tape. "You'll note the terror in his voice next." He resumed playing the tape.

"_But what if I can't regain control? It will mean an airlock. Don't you see? He's making me do things. He wants ultimate control!"_

"_We can force him back, Lee. You have to trust me. Let him out."_

There was silence on the tape and then Lee's voice spoke, but yet it wasn't Lee's voice. It was cold and mechanical.

"_God's will has been done. We are now in control. I am Thirteen."_

"That's not funny. That's not Lee." Kara demanded, rising from the table.

Athelis remained calm. "It is Lee's trapped personality. I'm sure both of you have come to the same conclusion I did." He paused. "Lee's alternate personality is a Cylon."

Adama's head sank to his chest. "No. This can't be right. Lee hates the Cylons as much as anyone, maybe more. He'd never adopt that personality."

Athelis considered Adama's words. "He might if he truly believed they will one day win. If he believed they were stronger, he might use that persona to draw strength from."

Kara refused to listen to any of the arguments. "Why does he look like hell?"

Athelis nodded, understanding what she was doing. "Since this time," he gestured to the recorder they'd just heard, "he's struggled even more to keep the persona in remission."

"He can't control it anymore?" Adama offered.

Athelis nodded. "It would seem so."

Kara stammered. "But you can fix this, right?"

Athelis drew in a long breath. "The headaches are getting worse. The harder he fights to remain Lee, the more Thirteen fights to dominate. Thirteen is spending longer and longer in possession of Lee's body. I brought him back for Cottle to run brain scans. It is entirely possible that there is a physical cause for all of this."

"Why the frak didn't you say so sooner?" Kara demanded, pounding her fist on the table.

One look at Adama and Athelis knew he concurred. He wasn't feeling the least bit intimidated anymore by the military presence before him. He was the expert here. "You believed it was stress."

BSG

The trio split up to collect their thoughts and wait for Cottle's report. An hour later Cottle appeared and a chill passed through Adama's heart. He'd served with Major Cottle for many years now and they'd both been through more than either cared to admit. In all those years and through all those situations, he'd never seen his chief medical officer look this grim. "What did you find?"

Cottle said nothing, but waved the group over to a computer terminal. "This is the first scan we ran an hour ago." He pointed to a small, dark spot near the base of Lee's brain. "We ran this scan 20 minutes later." It didn't take a medical specialist to see that the spot had grown. "We ran this one ten minutes ago." The spot had doubled from its original size.

Cottle looked truly distraught. "I've never seen anything like it. It's not solid. My staff is prepping for a biopsy."

Again the trio waited. Both Tigh and Roslin checked in, but no one felt like reporting anything at the time. It was too overwhelming for Adama and Starbuck, and Athelis knew it wasn't his place.

Cottle finally returned. If possible, he looked even worse than before. "I need to talk to you in private." He looked directly at Adama, who followed him silently.

When they'd rounded the corner and were out of earshot, Cottle reported his findings. "It's the poison."

Adama's greatest fear was roaring its ugly head. "So we can treat it?" He tried optimistically.

Cottle shook his head. "It's mutated. The residue has centered in his brain. It isn't responding to anything."

"Maybe it needs more time to work?" Adama asked with false optimism.

Again, Cottle shook his head. "Let's look at the facts. We weren't able to destroy the virus. We knew there was a dormant residue in his system and we hid that information from everyone, including him. It seems to have traveled to his brain and hid out. His blood tests hadn't changed, but now his blood is clear. It's living off his brain fluids and it's growing."

"Can you drain it since its localized?"

For the third time, Cottle's head shook. "I tried. His vitals bottomed out. He nearly died."

"What'll happen next?"

"I have no idea. He should be awake shortly. You have a few minutes to think about what you're going to tell him." Cottle pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit up.

"What I'm going to tell him? You're the doctor!" Adama demanded fully willing to display this cowardice in the man's company.

Cottle got right in the Admiral's face. "I only obeyed an order to cover up his condition. This one is yours. You now know as much as I do."

Adama tapped into his inner courage and moved to his son's bedside. He noted the absence of the restraints. Knowing the risk this posed, he suppressed the military officer within him. That side knew Lee should be restrained. He studied his son's sleeping face. He seemed calm and his rest undisturbed. It relieved the anguished father. Lee turned slightly in his sleep and the movement revealed the small, white bandage at the base of his skull. He reached out, lightly touching it and sinking into the chair nearby. He settled in for the wait, praying it would be a long one.

He hardly noticed Kara slip in and join him. When he acknowledged her with a half-hearted smile, she returned a broader one. "I didn't want you to wait alone." She added timidly. "If that's alright?"

He nodded. "I think it's better if you're here when I tell him. I don't think I can go through it twice."

"Sir?" Kara was alarmed at the Admiral's attitude. She knew things were bad, but he worried her as much as Lee did now.

He waved her off. "When he wakes…"

"When who wakes?" Came Lee's garbled response from the bed. He was wakened by a subtle buzzing noise in his brain. It was only now he realized it was his family.

"You. You would be the center of our attention, like always." Kara chided.

Lee let out a sound somewhere between a cough and a laugh. Both Adama and Kara noted how much calmer he seemed. "How you feeling?" Kara brushed a few stray hairs off his forehead.

He smiled sleepily. "Better. Is it the drugs?" He raised his hand and indicated the IV needle taped to his hand.

"Ah, Doc's happy juice. I miss it." Kara sighed wistfully.

Adama remained silent, allowing himself to enjoy the banter of his children.

"Dad?" Lee was trying to pull himself to a more upright position, but his head swam at the movement.

Adama rested a hand on his chest. "Stay put."

Kara explained. "Yeah, they've been poking at your brain. It's bound to make a person like you dizzy."

Lee smiled. "Like me?" He dropped the slander and sobered. "What did they find?"

The air chilled. Adama wished Lee hadn't asked. He was enjoying the short nirvana. He took a deep breath, wishing the words had come to him. "It's not good son."

"I'm dying?" Lee remained calm. He glanced over to see terror in Kara's eyes. She obviously didn't know anything yet.

"We don't know." Adama corrected. "It's…" He looked away, praying his son would understand what he'd done so many months ago. "When you were poisoned…" His explanation came out in chunks.

Neither Lee nor Kara had ever seen Adama at a loss for words and it frightened them both.

"You were never fully cured. The poison went dormant." He paused long enough to glance into Lee's stunned eyes. He didn't dare look to Kara. He knew he'd see fury.

Lee was catching on, and yet remained calm. "The monthly testing? Watching me so closely… You knew then." Lee had revealed the secret that had haunted him these many months. The secret he knew existed but hadn't been able to pin down.

"We assumed if you got sick again, we'd just treat it. You didn't need to know, to worry."

"No, I didn't need to know my own medical conditions." Lee's calm was giving way to anger. "How kind of you."

Kara was flabbergasted. "You knew all this time this would happen?" She stared at Adama in disbelief.

Adama shook his head in denial. "NO. We assumed nothing would ever come of it."

Lee's voice was cold. "So what's changed? I'm not sick like before."

"Cottle says it's mutated and transferred to your brain. He tried to drain it, but you…"

Lee released his anger now. "I WHAT?"

"You nearly died. He had to stop." Adama finished.

Anyone watching could see the internal struggle Lee waged to retain his composure. "What now? I become a Cylon and you airlock me?"

Kara screamed at him. "NO! Don't say such a frakkin' stupid thing. We just have to keep working on it, like before."

Adama nodded. "She's right. We don't know what's going to happen."

Lee shook his head. "I do. It all makes sense now. I knew it. I knew the Cylons were trying to take over my brain. That's why I fought them. That's why I tried to kill myself." He paused and seemed to be piecing it all together before their eyes. "At least I know I was fighting it. I tried to keep the Cylons away from us." His volume dropped. "I guess I failed though. It's going to win."

"DON'T SAY THAT! This isn't over." Adama roared.

Kara backed him up, while trying to lighten the mood. "Yeah, he's right. That's probably just Thirteen trying to scare us."

It failed. Lee looked at them, dejected. He pulled his hands up, stared at them, and dropped them back to the bed. "I need to be restrained. I can't control him. I could cause too much damage." Neither Adama nor Kara moved. It infuriated Lee. "I SAID RESTRAIN ME!"

Cottle had lied. He had been hovering just outside the curtained area. At Lee's outburst, he barged in. To soothe his patient, he retrieved the requested restraints. Once Lee saw them coming, he calmed. At the same time, the doctor pulled a syringe from his pocket and injected it. Within seconds, Lee drifted to sleep. "That went well, don't you think?" He ended his statement glaring at Adama.

Lee slept and Adama knew he needed advice on how to proceed. Not wanting to deal with Kara either, he left her to sit with his son. He went about assembling those that would need to know.

They met long into the night: Roslin, Baltar, Tigh, Athelis, Cottle and Adama. In the morning, they had lots of possibilities, but no solutions. Splashing cold water on his face and a strong cup of coffee was all Adama could muster. It would have to be enough to get him through the day.

Ishtay stopped him outside Lee's bed. "He's not taking visitors, Admiral."

Adama smiled, assuming she was teasing him. "He'll see me, I'm fairly sure."

She coughed and held out her hand when Adama moved to pass. "No, Sir. He specifically requested that you not be allowed to visit." She added a genuine, "sorry."

Not wanting to push her commanding officer further, Layne stepped away. Adama stood in the middle of life station, debating what to do. He was torn. He wanted to be at Lee's side, beg him if necessary, to understand why he'd done it. The other part of him understood Lee's anger. He knew his son simply needed time to process everything happening to him. He tried to accept it, but he couldn't. He'd spent too much time not being there when Lee needed him. He wasn't going to miss a chance to show his son he loved him. He marched through the curtain.

"I don't want any visitors, nor do I think it's wise for you to allow them." Lee said flatly.

"You're my son. I'm not going anywhere. You can't refuse me." Adama challenged.

"Why not? Why do you get to be a father only when it's convenient for you?" Lee rebutted.

Adama scowled. "Oh, that's pathetic, Lee. It's a weak, not to mention ancient argument to pull out. Couldn't come up with anything better?"

Lee glared. "How about this? If you keep playing daddy, I'm going to end up doing something stupid that destroys the ship. Be an Admiral for frak's sake. It's what you're good at."

Adama sighed and struggled for calm. He knew Lee was venting. He also knew it was his job to take it. If Lee was testing him, he couldn't fail. He was about to speak, when a choked sob came from Lee's bed. He couldn't begin to describe the look that crossed Lee's face. It was sheer agony, physical pain and terror all at once.

Lee whispered through clenched teeth. "Oh gods, he's coming and I can't stop him."

A second later, Adama stared in horror at a transformed son. "Lee?"

A sickening, cold laughter was the response. "Lee's gone. I'm Thirteen, but I think you already knew that."


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to all who continue to read. Those who've replied and asked for more frequent posts, um, well... Daily isn't fast enough? ((grin)) I take it as a huge compliment. If you're really impatient... Check out my homepage. ((grin again)) For now, let's find out what "Thirteen" has to say to Adama...**

**Six**

"You don't possess my son. You won't succeed." Adama promised, complete resolve in his voice.

It was still Lee's body talking, but the aura around him had changed completely. There was no warmth or life. There seemed to be only frigid darkness. "I already have. Soon I will have complete control of this body and access to all his thoughts."

Adama smiled. "Is that the goal? To get Lee's knowledge?"

"It is only a perk. We know what we need to know."

Adama was using all his military skill to remain controlled. "Lee's fighting you harder than you expected. You might not win."

A sick smile spread across Thirteen's face. "He can't fight forever. He's merely human. It won't be long."

Adama shook his head confidently. "You didn't think it would be this hard. It's already falling apart around you."

Thirteen laughed. "Trying to convince yourself, Admiral? Even if I were to give up control now, I'm always going to be here. You can't eliminate the virus. I could wait until he was weak… maybe a cold? Or a slight injury?" The volume and intensity of his laughter increased. "What else do you have, old man? Bring it on!"

Adama's eyes focused, ignoring the barb. "Why Lee?"

"Why not? What will you do to him? Airlock him? I don't think so. You'll visit him daily, hoping each day he somehow manages to defeat me." He paused. "I'll even let him out from time to time, just so you can retain your hope. You'll never kill your son knowing what you humans say passes for a soul, still exists within me."

"Don't be too sure. This isn't exactly living for my son." Adama meant every word.

"Then it begins." He glanced around the room and pulled at his restraints. "I'll step back now. I'm sure you'd like to enjoy what time you can with your son."

Lee's body collapsed onto the bed and Adama rushed to his son's side. He slapped gently at his face. "Lee? Lee?"

Lee's eyes shot open. "Oh gods… I can't keep doing this."

"You're fighting him Lee. That's what counts. He's planning on wearing you out. He's afraid of you." Adama meant to inspire his son. His words had no effect.

"You should all be afraid of me. Course, this might never have happened if I'd known the truth." The admonishment was blunt and direct to the point.

"Nothing would have changed. You would have been miserable, wondering when something might happen. I learned a long time ago not to second guess my decisions. I stand by this one."

Lee glared at his father and slowly shook his head. "No second guessing? So that means no regrets? You don't regret anything, dad?"

Adama understood his son's point immediately and it hurt. Lee caught him. He couldn't simplify his decisions like that. What about all his parental decisions that had brought pain to his sons? "Get some rest. I can tell this takes a lot out of you. I'll be back later."

"Don't bother."

Adama was about to leave, ignoring Lee's request again, but one last question nagged at him. "Lee, you said if you'd known, this might not have happened. Why do you say that?"

Lee looked directly at his father, a familiar coldness in his eyes. "I'd have played chicken with a raider and lost. At least the fleet would be safe and I'd have died as befitting your son."

**BSG**

Adama needed time alone and Lee feigned sleep the rest of the day. Visitors left him to his rest. After ending his shift in CIC, Adama grabbed some dinner with Kara and made his way to life station. He intended to show Lee his determination. "Son?" He pushed the undisturbed tray with Lee's dinner closer to him. "Time to eat." He checked under the domed cover and grimaced. "Well, it's late, but it probably doesn't make a difference."

"Go away." Lee was turned on his side, one arm stretched behind his back due to the restraints. There was no emotion in his voice.

Adama ignored him. "I could go get you something else to eat. I don't like wasting food, but this doesn't exactly look edible."

Lee growled. "I warned you to go away." Lee began to pull at his restraints.

Adama placed a hand on Lee's straining arm. "Settle down. I'll loosen this one. Roll over."

"If you insist." Lee rolled over and Adama met the darkened eyes of Thirteen. With no effort at all, he snapped his restraints and rose forcefully from the bed. "Is this what you wanted Adama?"

Adama's training failed him at the sight of his possessed son and he wasn't prepared for the vicious swing that sent him flying back against the wall. Adama shook off the impact and watched Thirteen make for the exit. Pulling himself to his feet, he charged after Thirteen, snaring him around the legs.

Thirteen kicked out at Adama, catching him alongside the head. Adama was stunned. Seconds later, as Thirteen scrambled to his feet, marines arrived. Four were needed to subdue the cylon-driven human. Suddenly, the captive went limp. Adama knew Lee had returned.

"Son?" Adama crawled to his son's side, careful to keep the guards close.

Lee's eyes were filled with pain. He stretched a shaky hand out and touched the cut on his father's brow, he whispered. "I told you to lock me in the brig."

BSG

Roslin, Tigh, Baltar, Kara and Adama sat around the conference table. It was quiet except for Kara's rage. "You're a frakkin' cylon expert. Figure this out!"

Baltar was flustered as always. He found himself wishing for Six to appear and offer him some relief. "Lee Adama is not a Cylon. This is outside of my expertise."

Tigh pointed to the Admiral. "He seemed to possess the strength of a Cylon. He broke through the restraints and tossed people around like nothing. Lee's a fighter, but even he couldn't pull that off."

Baltar coughed. "Yes, I can only assume the entity manages to funnel his adrenalin. Humans have been known to exhibit extreme strength under extenuating circumstances."

"I'd hardly call these extenuating circumstances." Roslin countered. "The fact of the matter is, we have no clue what to do with it."

"HIM!" Both Adama and Kara bellowed at once.

Roslin frowned. "I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do. We obviously can't allow him to roam freely on the ship."

Tigh jumped in. "Even with a guard, it took four to hold him down. We have to lock him up, but I don't think the brig is secure enough either. Shit, Lee as a Cylon scares me. Lee could probably escape from hack even without cylon influence."

Adama reluctantly agreed. He moved to the phone across the room and punched up the flight deck. "Chief, we need to construct that holding cell for Cylons we talked about, ASAP." He quickly added. "And make sure it also has the dampening fields."

He looked at his audience when he'd hung up. "We can't risk it communicating with others. If Lee develops…"

Kara grumbled. "This is all useless. We have to do something."

Adama growled in return. "We are. Cottle is still working on possibilities and I'm sure Doctor Baltar will make this a priority as well."

"Of course, Admiral. I'll make it my top priority." He smiled vainly.

"Until then Lee's caged up like the frakkin' enemy?" Kara demanded.

Roslin spoke before Adama could. She knew he couldn't mask this pain. The situation was tearing him apart. "We have no choice. Captain Apollo asked for it himself."

Kara started for the door, but paused in the hatch to offer her warning. "If you really expect Lee to fight this thing, locking him up is not going to give him the strength he needs."

"She's right. We have to figure this out quickly." Adama added.

Roslin sucked in a deep breath. "Admiral, I think we both agree the only solution is the complete annihilation of this virus from his system. Anything else will be unacceptable."

Adama knew she was reprimanding him for keeping the presence of the virus a secret. "Agreed."

"Are we further agreed, that if necessary, Lee may need to be terminated?" She asked pointedly.

"NO! We are not. There is no reason to go to such extremes. We can keep him alive." Adama's face tensed with anger.

"There's no indication Captain Apollo, Thirteen I mean, holds any value to us."

"He's my SON and a HERO of this fleet." He looked directly at her, ignoring Tigh and Baltar. "He's saved your life a few times as well. I won't pay him back by jettisoning him out an airlock."

She met his gaze. "So the Cylons win? You have to accept the possibility, Admiral."

Adama shook his head. "This is a military matter. That's all I accept." He turned and left. Tigh followed him out.

Roslin took several deep breaths to calm her beating heart. She finally looked at Baltar. "You will make this a priority. I don't want to lose both Adamas and I suspect we may do just that if we can't save Apollo."

She left Baltar alone in the room and Six suddenly appeared, purring at his side.

"Is that god's goal? To defeat the Adamas?" He asked her, a bit stunned at the audacity of the plan. "Wasn't the poison simply meant as a distraction?"

She smiled. "We can't know god's purpose. We have to trust him. You trust him, don't you Gaius?" Her hand stroked up and down his thigh.

"So god's waging war against the Adamas now?" He pressed, ignoring her attentions.

She snapped her head back and halted her hand. "You're a scientist; don't you recognize an experiment when you see one?"

"So god's practicing on Lee Adama?" He looked her directly in the eye.

She grabbed his neck. "I believe the expression is killing two birds with one stone." She pulled him in for a deep kiss.

**BSG**

Adama walked silently behind the marines escorting his son to his new home. He'd ordered the corridors cleared and slipped in behind them as the contingent left life station. He didn't want to let Lee know he was there yet. It was hard enough on his son.

His son had barely been present in the past 24-hours. Thirteen was getting stronger and stronger. It was costing Lee more and more to remain himself.

They moved him into the room, and undid his cuffs and shackles. Lee politely thanked them, ever the officer. The gesture brought a small smile to his father's face. His pride in Lee knew no bounds lately. He couldn't imagine handling things any better.

Lee noted his father hovering, and moved to the phone.

Adama stepped forward and lifted his own receiver. "Is there anything you need?"

Lee didn't appear to hear his father. He was staring at his father's face. He reached up and touched the glass across from the bandage on his father's forehead. No words were necessary.

"It wasn't you, Lee. It's not your fault." Adama offered, knowing it really wouldn't help.

"Dad… if I'm going to hurt anyone, you have to do it."

Adama shook his head defiantly. "No. Stop talking like that."

"Dad," Lee pleaded. "I can't. I can't hurt the people I swore to protect. It's what they want." He finally met his father's gaze. "Promise me. When the time comes, you'll give the order."

Adama didn't respond.

"PROMISE ME!"

Adama searched his son's expression for an out and found none. "IF the time ever comes, I…"

"Say it, dad. You have to say it. Once a decision is made, no regrets, right?"

Lee sounded so calm, so rational. Adama despised having his words thrown back at him, but knew he had to comply for his son. "I promise."

Lee nodded.

**BSG**

Weeks passed. Thirteen was almost exclusively in control. Sometimes he allowed Lee to appear when a visitor came, as he promised. Those that visited, Adama, Kara and Roslin, pretended it didn't bother them, but they were all lying to themselves.

Adama stumbled into Roslin leaving Lee's cell area. "Madame President?" His tone was gruff and doubtful. He hadn't forgiven her for threatening to throw his son out an airlock.

Roslin tried to smile away the tension between them. "Admiral, I was just visiting Captain Apollo."

Adama lightened slightly. "Lee was present?"

She frowned. "No, I'm afraid not. It was Thirteen. I understand Doctor Cottle is trying another procedure."

"Anything to keep you from pushing the airlock switch," he chided.

She stammered. "Admiral, I have to consider the best interests of the fleet…" She flushed and her pain and frustration were evident. "Despite what I might feel for him personally."

Doctor Cottle tried draining the fluid again, feeling they had no other choice. Lee's body was in critical condition for two days from the attempt. The failure was a tough blow and optimism was dying.

When Lee was allowed to control his own body in the beginning, he would try and chat like normal. As the time went on, he withdrew more and more. Now, if he was permitted to appear, the only thing he spoke of was 'ending' it. He begged them to airlock him, citing the security of the fleet.

Thirteen toyed with the humans in other ways as well. He liked to hurt Lee's body. He would go days at a time refusing food or drink or he'd pick at Lee's skin until bruises appeared. When that failed to interest him further, he would work out obsessively pushing Lee's body beyond reasonable limits. All steps taken in further attempt to distress the humans who cared for Lee. Each time he inflicted some torture to Lee's body, his face displayed a sick smile of satisfaction.

Cottle and Baltar had both hit dead ends. Cottle had also tried to administer a trace dose of demerten, a drug that had once cured the poison in test tubes, but to which Lee was allergic. It failed as the drainage procedure had. Hope was fast fading and although Adama began to accept the idea this was Lee's fate. He had no intention of airlocking his son.

Adama was standing by with Cottle. Lee was being transferred back to life station for a scan. They wanted to know how much of his brain had been taken over by Thirteen now. They watched from a safe distance as Lee indicated to the marines that he was going to come willingly. He held out his hands, knowing he would be shackled.

Adama let out the breath he'd been holding. It was a relief to have Lee present. He didn't want a fight. It unnerved him to see his son's body fighting with marines. He reflected on the conversation he'd just had with Lee.

"_Dad, if the scan shows my brain… You can't keep me like this. It's too dangerous."_

"_I know it's hard, Lee, but this isn't over. We have no idea what Thirteen really wants. When we find out, we may be able to do something then." He was always trying to be optimistic around Lee._

Adama had relaxed too soon.

Thirteen's arm swung out sharply and caught the nearest marine unprepared. The man flew backward and fell over the cot. The two remaining marines grabbed at Thirteen's arms. Neither was successful. Without breaking a sweat, Thirteen dispatched both of them to a pile in the center of the room and made for the exit.

Adama had already moved for the alert button and knew help was on the way. He knew he didn't stand a chance of stopping the Cylon. He learned right away he couldn't physically defeat the presence. The week before, Adama had gone into Lee's cell to play a card game with his son. When Thirteen turned on him, he'd tried in vain to appeal to Lee deep within. For a brief second, he thought Lee was winning, but it was a fleeting moment. Marines had restrained Thirteen and when Lee next returned, he was devastated he'd once again hurt his father. Lee was falling farther and farther away and there was nothing his father could do to hold on to him.

Adama had failed to account for Cottle. As Thirteen bore down on Adama's position in the hatchway, he suddenly fell to the admiral's feet. Adama looked up to see Cottle holding a tranquilizer gun.

"I don't know why we bother."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Lee's brain was overwhelmed by the mutated poison.

"It explains the constant headaches."

Adama looked at the doctor, puzzled. "Constant headaches? Lee's in constant pain? Why wasn't I told?"

Cottle nodded. "I suspect it's one of the reasons he can't hold control as long anymore. It hurts. When Apollo is allowed to control, the fluid increases pressure on his brain, before the pain occurred only when they switched."

Adama was somber. "So every time we ask him to fight it, we are causing him even more pain." Without intending to, he added, "this just keeps getting better and better."

Cottle waited until Adama was refocused. He had no problem allowing the admiral a moment to be a father. "We've got to let the Cylon have control. Lee needs to let it win."

A mixture of emotions appeared in the admiral's eyes. "Give up?"

"No. Make it easier on your son."

**BSG**

Boomer stood outside his cell. She knew he'd still be asleep. They brought him back sedated. Her hand rose up to rest on the glass. Something about his situation called out to her. She'd been tested by Doctor Baltar, and knew she wasn't really a Cylon, but the CAG's experience was causing her to have doubts.

Lee Adama had been tested too. He hadn't read as a Cylon either, even now he didn't.

She was so lost in her thoughts she hadn't noticed Thirteen rise and join her at the window. She jumped back and stared in shock at his smiling face. He spoke to her. She shook her head and left the room. She pretended not to know what he'd said to her.

Thirteen watched her go. "Soon, my sister. You will rise soon enough."

**BSG**

Adama strode into the cylon detention area and knew immediately from Lee's stance, it was actually Thirteen. He paused long enough to release a sigh, but as he turned to go he was compelled to stop by a knock at the window. He turned back and Thirteen was holding his phone receiver.

The father in Bill Adama told him to walk away, but the military officer couldn't turn down the chance to gain some information. If Thirteen wanted to talk to him, it had to be something. He picked up the phone, but said nothing.

"Nice to see you too." Thirteen crooned. "I just thought you should know you have a Cylon close to you."

"He's right in front of me."

Thirteen laughed. "I'm your son. There's a full Cylon, closer than you think. You might want to be more careful."

"You admit you aren't a Cylon, then?" Adama wasn't going to buy into the teaser.

"I admit only that I'm trapped in a human body. I shall never be one of god's true children. Don't you care one of god's children is among your own?"

Adama had been unable to shake Thirteen's confidence. "Why would you warn me? Why should I believe you?" Adama's voice was gruff.

"I just thought you should know. Whether you believe or not is your call. You now have to decide. You make the best decision you can and have no regrets, right?"

Having his own words thrown back at him by a Cylon infuriated Adama. He slammed the phone down and left.

**BSG**

The next time Adama and Lee were together, Adama was compelled to ask about Thirteen's warning. "Lee, Thirteen said we had a Cylon close to us."

Lee snorted. "Me?" It was a rare display of humor.

Adama offered his son a sympathetic smile. The moment was light and Lee seemed in control and not in too much pain. "No, he said it was someone else, but close. Can you? Are you?"

Lee shook his head. "I can't. I can't tap in to them. I've tried and I've gotten…" His words cut out and a gasp escaped instead. He clutched at his head.

Adama had seen it all too often. He stepped back and waited until Thirteen was in full control before leaving to the sound of his taunts. "You believed me? How worried are you?"

**BSG**

Lee's head throbbed. He waited impatiently for his father to arrive, pacing the cell to funnel his concentration. He was in control, but he never knew for how long. He had to tell his father. He knew who the Cylon was. It was actually a moment of pride for Lee. It empowered him to know he was learning how to get into the Cylon within him. Thirteen had been using him. Turnabout was fair play. Lee smiled, genuinely.

His father rushed in. "Son?"

Lee smiled. "Dad. I know who it is. The Cylon is…" Lee's face contorted. "Gods, NO. Not now!" He pushed at his temples. "Dad, it's Bo…"

Lee's chance was gone. Thirteen displayed his first anger. "Lee was pushing. I'll punish him for it. It was a stupid move on his part."

Adama growled. "I thought your god handed out the punishment."

Thirteen leered. "I am his instrument."

"No, you're his imperfect experiment." Adama didn't know how close he was to the truth and had no further time to debate; a page summoned him to CIC. When he arrived, Tigh was grinning. "They found it. A mountain of tyllium. They almost missed it, but Boomer stuck to her instinct. It's perfect and unlike before, it's not guarded by Cylons."

Adama smiled. It was fuel and good news. They needed both. The Cylons had managed to destroy a refinery in a recent skirmish.

Tigh continued. "They'll be on board soon. I ordered them to report to CIC." He scanned the room and stepped closer. "Was it still Lee? Did he?"

Adama nodded. "For a second or two. He managed to tap in and figure out who the Cylon is."

Tigh was stunned. "You're awfully calm about this. Why aren't we arresting someone?"

Adama scowled. "Thirteen prevented him from telling me. Bo… That's all he got out."

"Bo? That could be anyone. We've got four Bobs in the room right now." Tigh complained, scanning the room for more possibilities.

"I know. We can only hope Lee can tell us next time."

"When will that be?"

Adama usually appreciated Tigh's candor, but now he didn't want to be reminded of the truth. "Thirteen says we're to be punished us for this one. It might be a while. We'll have to be on guard. If the Cylon suspects we're on to him…"

Tigh nodded and glanced at the commotion in the hatchway. "Here's Boomer and Crashdown." Both men turned to greet the arriving officers, who were also met with applause from the command crew. Everyone was smiling. Adama's began to fade. As Sharon Valerii smiled at him, Lee's words slammed into him. Bo. Boomer! He had no proof, but his gut told him.

He hesitantly stepped forward and offered his hand to Boomer. "Good job!" Time seemed suspended. Sharon's hand rose, but it held a gun. She aimed directly at him and fired.

He'd seen it coming. He was running on instinct. In the fraction of a second the gun rose, he began to move. As he fell toward the deck, he felt the burn pass through his side. Around him was chaos. Marines threw Sharon to the ground and Tigh barked orders.

Adama knew he'd barely avoided severe injury. He looked into Saul's worried expression. "Boomer."

Tigh answered. "Boomer." He looked to the hatchway, where medics were running through. "Medics are here."

Adama smiled. "I'll be fine."

**BSG**

A satisfied grin never left Thirteen's face as he watched them construct a second holding cell across from him. A day later, Sharon Valerii was moved in. She glared at him with a bruised, interrogated face. He merely continued to smile.

He taunted her often. She couldn't hear his voice, but he knew she read his lips. "You're pathetic. You failed. When you're put out the airlock, god won't resurrect you."

As promised, Lee wasn't able to assert himself for some time. Adama recovered from his wound and quickly resumed both command and visits to his son. He ordered a camera installed to watch Lee. He spent long hours outside the holding area, staring at the monitors for a sign Lee was present. His dedication paid off and he ran into the room when Lee reappeared.

Lee ran to the phone at the sight of his father. "DAD! You're ok?"

Adama grinned broadly. "Thanks to you."

Lee shook his head, unconvinced. "I didn't get the information out."

"You did enough, son. I figured it out in time." He glanced over his shoulder.

Lee looked at his father and a mocking grin spread across his face. "Barely! Are you getting slow, old man?"

Adama frowned in mock anger, but before he could say more, Lee disappeared. He wondered who had made the jest.

"So, Admiral, did you have a loving moment with your son? You're welcome. Tsk, Tsk. I do so enjoy watching the two of you pretend this will end positively. I suppose it makes you wonder if Lee shouldn't have died from the poison."

**BSG **

The battle over what to do with the 'Cylons' raged. Marines had been forced to break up a group of rowdy mess workers who were threatening to take matters into their own hands. The feelings of betrayal were deep in all humans.

Thirteen had been biding his time, lulling his jailors into a false sense of security. He knew it was time to shake things up. He'd been calmly reading a book on his cot. From the corner of his eye, he checked the camera.

He tried to stand up, as if he were going to the head, but paused and clutched at his stomach. The more steps he took, the more agony he exhibited, finally falling to his knees.

In the cell office, a guard called CIC. "He seems to be in trouble. He's on his knees in pain." He listened a moment. "Understood." He waited until a second marine arrived and the two men made for the cell.

Thirteen was now unresponsive on the deck. He didn't move as the door slid open. He heard the footfalls nearing him. He held his breath and stilled his pulse. He felt fingers probing his neck. _Wait… Not yet… Lull them…_

"CIC was calling the medics. Think we should start down and meet them?"

_That's it…_ Thirteen's arm shot up, catching the nearest guard around the neck. His fingers clutched at the man's throat, crushing it. He shoved the marine aside and rolled to the second, who had inadvertently backed himself away from the door attempting to help his colleague. Thirteen's legs kicked up and then instantly back down with an arch of his back to spring to his feet. The marine charged him. Thirteen twisted the man's arm behind his back. Moving his hands swiftly to either side of the marine's head, he twisted sharply and snapped his neck. The marine fell dead. Thirteen smiled directly at the camera and disappeared through the hatch into Galactica's corridors.

**BSG**

Adama pounded to the scene with Tigh close behind. He said nothing as they replayed the tape of what had happened. Watching his son's body snap the neck of a good marine chilled him to the bone. Not only had they lost two good men, but he knew his son would never recover from such an action, even if he hadn't done it himself. "Seal off Galactica. Nothing gets off this ship, nothing."

Tigh frowned. "Except CAP?"

Adama glared at his second in command. "Nothing. Lee can fly a viper. He'll try to get off the ship. I want ten teams of marines searching the ship. I want Le… Thirteen found NOW!"

Tigh swallowed and nodded. He couldn't avoid his next question, although he desperately wanted to. "And your orders?"

Adama's glare continued. He knew exactly what Tigh wanted him to say. His attention fell to the deck. "Use any necessary force."

**BSG**

Thirteen knew exactly what he was doing. He'd had enough time to plan. He slipped first into the laundry to find more suitable clothing. He then broke into food stores and helped himself to food. Even the Cylons fed their prisoners a better variety. He didn't mind depriving the humans of some of their precious fruits.

He'd long ago decided what storage lockers he would hide out in. He was positive Adama would assume he wanted off the ship. He had no such intentions. He planned on destroying the ship. Locker 863 in Causeway B contained the bomb he had previously assembled. Once planted in the engines, Galactica was history. However, he had some things to do first.

**BSG**

"THAT THING HAS BEEN ALL OVER THIS SHIP AND NO ONE CATCHES HIM? HE'S LEE FRAKIN' ADAMA! NO ONE NOTICED HIM?" Tigh growled at the reporting marine. "Don't just stand there. FIND HIM!"

Tigh had been too involved in reprimanding the lieutenant to notice the wince flash across Adama's face when he referred to his son. By the time Tigh composed himself and looked back to the Admiral, Adama calmly spoke. "He's toying with us. He's not trying to cover his tracks."

"He's bouncing around the ship. He can't keep this up. Someone will find him." Tigh added.

Adama shook his head. "Not someone, a group. A person alone doesn't stand a chance against Thirteen."

"Maybe if they surprise him?" Tigh asked, optimistically.

Again Adama shook his head. "It's got cylon abilities and Lee's knowledge of the ship. Plus he's had lots of time to plan. He's playing cat and mouse."

Tigh groaned in response.

**BSG**

Adama undid the top buttons of his jacket. The day had been too long. Thirteen seemed to have disappeared or was now covering his trail. He worried for his son. He shut the hatch firmly behind him, wishing it could really shut out the world.

"He hates this room."

Adama refused to respond to the voice. It was Thirteen. It had Lee's sound, but not his tone. It was cold and overly confident. "Who?"

"Your son. This room represents your true wishes and loves. You wanted to be here, not home with your sons. Lee knows that. He hates you. You do know that, right?"

Adama moved to his desk and dropped into his chair. "He doesn't hate me." He said it as if it was an inconsequential thing.

Thirteen laughed. "Are you that sure? I'm here, inside, with access to everything. I'd say I know better."

Adama hadn't really expected Thirteen to be so bold as to make an attack on him in his own quarters, but he was prepared. His knee slid over and pushed at the alarm button under his desk. "I think you like to manipulate. You'd twist any situation to make it serve your purpose." He hoped the marines would come in quickly. He didn't relish a hostage situation.

Thirteen brought his hands to his heart. "That hurts, dad."

"I'm not your father. You were created in a test tube with computers." Adama countered, buying time.

"They aren't coming. I disabled the button. I'm not dumb. Even Lee would know to disable it."

"What is it you want? I don't like playing games." Adama demanded.

"I know that too. How often did you play games with your sons? Did you let them win, like a good father? Or did you insist on teaching them life is hard? Do you have happy memories of playing catch with your sons? Lee doesn't. The only memories he has of time with you is on a military base with a viper. Enjoying it seemed to them to be the only way to get your attention. Is that superior human parenting?"

Adama remained silent. His mind refused to believe anything this enemy said, but his heart knew no matter how slanted, Thirteen spoke fundamentally the truth.

"You are a formidable foe, Admiral. We didn't expect this extended conflict. However, you demonstrate all we stand for. You sacrificed your family, your wife and sons, for your own selfish need, your career." Thirteen delivered his message with utter sincerity.

"How is it that this perfect cylon utopia your supposed god has created condones the slaughter of innocent humans?" Adama knew even if he had a reasonable argument in his own defense, it wasn't worth the effort.

"Humans? Innocent? You're joking. Most humans don't deserve to live."

Adama grinned mildly at Thirteen's slip up. "Most? Which are allowed? What exactly do you want?"

Thirteen frowned. "Certain human DNA is desirable. God prefers I preserve this body. It has admirable DNA." He ignored the second question.

Adama controlled his response. Cylons were susceptible to over confidence. Thirteen's arrogance was giving away information. "Lee's body is safe?"

Thirteen rose. "I said god prefers. I shall willingly die if necessary. That is up to you. Have you ordered them to shoot to kill? Or would you die more comfortably knowing some portion of your son remains?"

"I will save my son." Adama rose from his chair.

"Don't… I need you to stay seated, dad." Thirteen rose to his own feet.

"I'm not your 'dad' and I don't take orders from you." He moved forward until the click of a weapon stopped him. "You'd shoot me here?"

"I'd rather not. It would interrupt my plan. I do need you to return to your seat." He wagged restraints in the air. "Remember these? Lee thought they protected his loved ones. I was annoyed by them. I suspect they'll annoy you as well."

"You expect me to willingly sit down and let you tie me up?" Adama demanded.

"I do, or you will die here and now and your son will die as well. How is that saving your son? Do you think anyone else on board will fight as hard for him? Not even Thrace can fight like a father can, even a poor one."

Adama sat and Thirteen bound him to the chair.

"What? No gag? You don't think I can call for help?" Adama growled while pulling at his restraints.

Thirteen smiled. "It won't matter. I'll be gone before anyone arrives. It's been a pleasure talking to you." He disappeared through the hatch and Adama immediately bellowed for help.

**Mature Content...**

Kara threw her helmet into her locker and slammed it shut. There was a big card game going in the mess, but she had no desire to play. Being grounded was never a good thing for her. Having tired pilots defending the fleet wasn't a good thing. Having other ships fuel and service her ships wasn't a good thing. Knowing all this was happening because Lee Adama was being consumed by the Cylons was worst of all.

She stripped to her underclothes and crawled into her bunk. She tossed and turned for an hour before deciding on another approach. Grabbing her towel and kit, she made for the showers. Hot water rations be damned, she was going to indulge. She stepped into a shower stall, but as she was about to turn the water on, she heard a noise. She stood quietly listening and the noise gradually cleared into a sob. She hesitated. She wasn't in the mood for a touchy feely scene with one of her pilots.

Duty tugged at her heart. She wrapped the towel around her chest and began to search the other showers. As she neared the last stall, the curtain was pulled. She called out. "Hey? I'm coming in." She slipped her hand between the wall and the curtain and pulled it back.

She stopped in her tracks as she stared at the figure huddled in the corner. It was Lee, truly Lee. He slowly looked up at her. "Kara?"

Kara didn't know what to do. Every part of her said to run, get her weapon and call the marines. His eyes sent a different message. She saw only her friend, hurt and devastated before her. Anyone else would have elicited a groan of annoyance, but this was Lee and he needed her. "Lee?"

His voice was soft and childlike. "I killed them. Just like that. I watched my hand crush his throat." His head fell into his lap and his body trembled.

Kara rushed forward and sank to her knees in front of him. She reached out her arm and lifted his chin to face her. "It was Thirteen, Lee. Not you. I know you didn't do it. We all know it. No one blames you."

Lee's voice now trembled. "I couldn't stop him. I wasn't strong enough."

Kara sat completely on the shower bottom and wrapped an arm around him. "You're the strongest man I know. You've fought it longer than anyone could have expected. You can't give up now."

Lee's eyes pleaded with her. "I… It hurts so much. I'm so alone."

"You're not alone Lee. We're still here for you. We always will be." She pulled him closer, feeling the heat from his body. She prayed it brought him some comfort. Lords knew how she always appreciated being enveloped in Lee Adama's comforting hugs, although she'd never let him know how much it meant to her.

"Oh gods, Kara." Lee sank into her embrace and his own arm swung out and returned the embrace.

Kara wouldn't ever be able to tell how it started. Someone's hand strayed and someone else responded. Soon, their lips were locked in a passionate kiss while excited hands stroked and roamed the other's body. It seemed both needed to feel something other than despair.

Kara's towel had slipped open in the process and Lee's mouth immediately moved down her neck, planting soft, tender kisses as he descended. Kara responded by moving her hand between his leg and cupping him. Instinctively the fingers of her other hand trailed up and worked at his trousers. She was lost in the pleasure Lee was providing. Her body writhed without thought as Lee's fingers stroked and rubbed her core again and again. She cried out in bliss, wanting more and moving her hands to create the same desire in him. He increased his actions, dipping a finger in and adding another as she moaned in pleasure. She waited for his own sigh, but heard only his laughter, cold, cruel laughter. She pulled back, suddenly numb.

She saw his cold, calculating eyes. "Lee?" The name pathetically escaped her lips.

He laughed all the harder and then abruptly stopped. "My, you want him badly. Was it good for you?"

"Bastard. Let him go!" Kara felt incredibly vulnerable and she knew her words were useless.

"So he can finish you off?" Thirteen smiled and mocked her, repeating Lee's words. "I… It hurts so much. I'm so alone." He watched her shock settle in. "Did you really think frakking you would be enough to hold on to Lee?" He leaned in toward her, as she had backed against the opposite wall. "How easily you believed he needed you."

"You're going to die." She spit out, struggling to find her inner warrior.

He stood, rezipped his pants, and glowered at her. "Not today and certainly not by your hands, Starbuck." He stepped to the front of the shower stall. "This has been fun. Although next time, you need to finish what you start."

She lunged at him. He lashed out and caught her alongside the head. She fell backward against the shower stall, unconscious. Thirteen slipped out of quarters, sight unseen.


	8. Chapter 8

**You're still reading. Thank you. We're about 3/4ths of the way through this ditty.**

**Chapter Eight**

The following morning, Thirteen had still not been apprehended. Adama ordered extra guards on the flight deck and reluctantly allowed CAP to resume. Vipers had refueled on other ships, and pilots that had been on leave subbed in, but since there were only four, the pilots were beyond exhausted. Kara had made a brief report and left.

She couldn't deal with her feelings from the previous evening. Had it been Lee seducing her or had Thirteen been in charge all along? She berated herself for getting into the situation in the first place and vowed not to let her emotions get in the way again. When she met Thirteen again, she'd be prepared.

Adama found Kara's behavior odd, but couldn't dwell on it.

"It wants to destroy the ship, but allow…"

Tigh finished the statement he'd heard a million times. "time to get off." He appeared as grumpy as possible and wiped at his face in an attempt to wake up.

Adama bit back a biting remark of his own. "So, a bomb. But where?"

Gaeta coughed, letting them know he had something to say. "If he truly wants to destroy the ship, it would have to be the engines. If he just wanted damage, there's lots of possibilities, but destruction would need to be a direct hit on the engines."

"We already have extra marines posted there." Tigh complained. "We can't keep this up forever. Besides, what could he have that could blow an engine."

Gaeta coughed again. "Um, I think he's built a bomb."

Adama stared at the lieutenant. "Why?"

"Well, when the reports came in on his locations, I had the various departments do inventory. I figured we needed to know what he was taking. It might help us track him or anticipate his next step."

Adama nodded. "Good thinking."

In Tigh's own way, it was a compliment that he didn't complain about Gaeta keeping them in the dark. "Have you found something?"

"We're missing munitions, blasting caps and…" He hesitated. "A timer."

Adama pursed his lips. "It is a bomb." He turned to Tigh. "You have command."

Tigh didn't need to ask where Adama was going.

**BSG **

Adama jogged through the corridors. Everything in him screamed the bomb was already set. For some reason, he decided he could find it. As he passed hatch after hatch, his subconscious mind click off the route, while his conscious mind tried to think like Lee. He knew his son's knowledge was Thirteen's key, but he also knew Lee would try to distort things if at all possible.

The marines snapped to attention when Adama thundered into the main engine room. He didn't bother to order them to ease, he shouted another command. "Search this place top to bottom for anything unusual. We're looking for a bomb."

Thirteen watched from the catwalk above. His eyes flew wide when Adama entered. The timing was unbelievable. He tucked himself into a small alcove and watched as the men went over every inch of the antechamber.

When the search was finished, Adama ordered the main hatch sealed from within and then the group moved into the inner chamber.

Thirteen climbed silently down the ladder. When his feet hit the deck, he scanned the room quickly to be sure he was alone and then slipped across to the far wall. 'Lee Adama' had inspected the engines and discovered the weakness in the control unit. It had received minor damage in one of the battles, but the repair had been quick, temporary and forgotten. 'Lee' had failed to note it in his report.

He slipped the bomb from the bag he'd slung over his shoulder and set it in place. Glancing around the room, he made for the ladder to retreat, grinning at his good fortune.

"Did you think it would be that easy?" Adama stood in the doorway, unarmed.

Thirteen turned to face the voice. "I'm done here. I'll be going."

Adama held the marines behind him back and stepped forward. "You don't have anything to tie me to. Don't you think I can stop you?"

Thirteen laughed. "Not on your best day, Adama. Not on your best day." He thought a moment. "I don't have a clue how you got that hit on Lee when you were sparring. I think he must have let you have it."

"No way. Remember, I play to win. I always have and my sons knew it. You said so yourself." He moved even further into the room, but Thirteen remained still. "So, are you going to make this easy on Lee and return peacefully to your cell?"

Thirteen laughed again. "Why? How will you make me? Your marines are behind you. I'll get to the hatch first."

"But my marines are here." Kara's voice called from the other hatch, supposedly sealed. "And more are stationed at the ends of the catwalk." Her words dripped with anger.

Thirteen paled as he glanced back and forth between Kara and Adama's confident glare. "Would you kill your son?"

Adama shook his head. "No…"

Kara cut him off. "But Lee wants us to stop you." She fired and caught Thirteen in the shoulder. No emotion was displayed on her face, "for all you've done."

Thirteen stared at her, stunned. It seemed like an eternity, but he lifted his healthy arm and stepped up a rung.

"I said he'd want us to stop you." She fired again, this time catching the cylon in the leg. He collapsed and fell to the deck.

Marines swarmed the injured, yet furious Cylon. Adama watched, saying nothing. He was absorbed watching the cylon's fury. It was the first time he couldn't tell the difference between Lee and Thirteen and it terrified him.

Kara tugged at his arm, bringing him back to the situation. He glanced at the marines, waiting for instructions. "Bring it to Life Station and the minute it's patched up I want it back in the cell." As an afterthought, he added. "And find that damn bomb."

The marines split up, most going with Thirteen. The rest went to track down and disarm the bomb. Adama and Kara were left alone. She whispered. "I'm sorry. I had to do it."

Adama squeezed her arm. "You had to do it. You were right. Lee would have done it."

Pain shimmered in her eyes in the form of unspent tears. "Then why does it hurt so much? I feel like I shot my best friend." She'd never tell him what had happened the previous night.

Adama chuckled. "Well, you shot his body… not the friend."

At first she was furious and her face contorted to hold it in, but seeing Adama's smiled, she softened and succumbed to soft laughter of her own.

BSG

Kara's prowess served Lee well. Neither injury was serious nor was it long before Thirteen was back in his cell. Adama stood outside, watching his son rest. Seeing the sleeping form, reminded him that Lee was still in there and none of this was his fault. His eyes scanned to the center of the cell, where the two marines had been killed. He had no idea how he'd convince his son to release that guilt when he was safe again. He shook off the worry. They had to free Lee first.

Thirteen's trip to life station revealed that the poison was now spread throughout his body. A simple blood test revealed the presence of the substance. Adama closed his eyes, wishing the simple act could make this nightmare go away.

When he opened his eyes, Thirteen was standing before him on the other side of the glass. Adama didn't flinch. He moved to the phone and picked it up. Thirteen did as well.

"You shot your son?" Thirteen asked, still chagrinned. "I didn't think you'd actually do it."

"You are not my son. You've trapped my son somewhere deep inside. You've misjudged me. It will be your undoing." Adama's tone was icy, but very clear.

Thirteen raised an eyebrow. "You seem confident."

"I love my son. He knows it. I also know he'd never want to live like this. All you have done is make it easier to push the button that opens the airlock and frees my son's soul. Don't second guess me again. Search Lee's memories. I promised him."

The threat was real, and Thirteen knew it. The two men stared at each other in a silent showdown. Thirteen finally interrupted the tension. "Lee doesn't believe you. He wanted desperately to believe what you said that day in the corridor outside CIC. You said you'd never leave him. Do you remember?"

Adama nodded. "I never say what I don't mean."

"And yet you'd destroy him? How is that not leaving him? Remember that Adama. If you kill me, you acknowledge there is no hope. Isn't that leaving? Which promise will you keep?"

Adama hung up and left.

BSG

When Adama didn't answer, Kara entered anyway.

"I don't recall giving you permission to enter." Adama growled from a darkened corner of the room.

"I'm worried about you." She said, dismissing any hint of military protocol. She needed to have Adama strong. It was the only thing keeping her going.

"I can take care of myself. Worry about Lee."

She moved to his side and knelt on the floor next to him. "I do worry about Lee. All the time, but now I'm trying to figure out how to help you too."

He finally looked her in the eye. "I'm fine." He truly meant it.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked.

He took a deep breath. "I've run through every piece of information and every encounter I've ever had with a cylon. There's got to be a way to defeat them and I know we've seen it and just don't know it. Every word, every interaction." He laughed. "I've even gone over everything Baltar's ever said."

Kara gasped. "That's some heavy thinking."

"They truly believe they're superior to us. Why would they want Lee's body then?"

Kara wasn't sure if he realized she was still present. She tried to lighten his mood. "Well, sir. I know you're his dad, and I'm his friend, but… It's a mighty fine body." She grinned at him, ignoring what had recently happened with that desirable body.

He briefly returned the smile, but then his face hardened. "Thirteen fraks with our minds like the Leoben model does. I remember every word Leoben said to me on Ragnar. He said it was funny what a man learns to live with." He fell into silence.

"He's just frakking with you. Remember what you told me? Don't let him get into your head." She added softly, "although that's probably hard when the voice and face belong to your son." She straightened her back. "But it's still good advice."

"It's like Leoben. It also twists lies with the truth. Any mistake I ever made with my son, it's exploiting."

"You know Lee doesn't hold those things against you." She demanded.

He looked at her, but she knew he didn't believe her. "Yes, he does. Deep down, he always will."

They lapsed into silence. Adama's mind drifted back to Leoben. He closed his eyes. Kara wondered if he would fall asleep. It looked as though he needed it.

_The storm. It's the storm isn't it? It puts out... something. Something  
you 'discovered' has an affect on Cylon technology? That's it, isn't it? This is a refuge. A last ditch place to hide in case of Cylon attack. Right?_

Adama's eyes sprang open and he grabbed at the arms of his chair to bring his thoughts together. "Ragnar!"

**BSG**

The standard group assembled at the conference table. Baltar was frantically refuting the idea. "It would take months of research to isolate what it was about the cloud that caused the problem. We don't even know for sure if it would have killed the Cylon."

Roslin hated to agree. "He's right. We can't risk sending a research team back. We have no idea of how long it would take or if we'd even be able to duplicate the conditions."

Tigh could see the fierce look of determination on Adama's face. "It's a good call, but it just won't work."

Cottle had been silent. "There no guarantee it would work, but it's the best we've got. Too bad we can't just send him back and make him stay there." He chortled. "We know he'd be safe from the Cylons there."

Adama pushed back from the table and rose to his feet. He looked at Tigh. "Prepare a raptor, triple long range rations."

Tigh said nothing.

Adama turned to Cottle. "I'll need several sedatives and any other equipment needed to test his blood."

He then addressed the shocked group. "I'm not letting the Cylons have my son. I know you don't believe it, but I do. I know the storm at Ragnar will cure Lee. I'm taking him."

Roslin placed both hands flat on the table and pushed herself up. "You can't do this. You are in command of the fleet. Humanity depends on you. I'm ordering you to stop this plan."

He glared at her and his face went hard. "I don't give a frak about my command. I resign. And as for humanity, what would it say about humanity if it allows a man to stand around and watch his son die when he could have stopped it? That's not a humanity I'm willing to defend." He didn't wait for further argument. He left the room and its stunned occupants.

**BSG **

Kara heard about Adama's plan and went to him directly. "You can't do this."

He growled at her as he packed a small bag. "You won't stop me either." Zipping the case shut, he glared at her. "I would have thought you, of all people, would support me."

"Always" she whispered. She swallowed hard and spoke more firmly. "I believe in the idea, but you can't be the one to go."

Adama knew exactly what she was going to suggest. "I suppose you think you're the one to go?"

She nodded. "Yes. I'm the only one who can go."

Adama sank onto his rack. He knew he wouldn't be able to avoid her arguments. He had no problem telling her no, but he always had to listen first. He thought about the irony of the situation. He often told Lee no, before he ever thought of listening. He considered Kara family, but when it came to decisions, he couldn't treat them the same. Lee would always be a biological part of him. His first instinct would always be to protect his son. How many times had he been forced to listen to Lee outline a plan that would put his son's precious life in danger? Since the cylon attack, his military side would listen and approve in dire situations. In all other circumstances, the paternal side would overcompensate. "This should be good."

"Your place is here." She demanded, hands on hips, assured of her victory, yet pacing. "You can't just up and leave." She stopped. "Look, I know you'd like nothing more than to ultimately prove your love to Lee, but this isn't how you do it."

Adama's anger soared at the personal turn the conversation had taken. Deep down it might be the truth, but it wasn't one he need to hear from anyone. He rose to his feet and began to object.

Kara boldly strode up to him and pushed him back down. "I'm not done." She stepped away and then turned back on him. "We have no idea how long it will take to kill the Cylon inside Lee. It could be months. You can't be gone that long. It's too big a risk. You can't leave Tigh in charge of the fleet that long and you know it." She ended the statement with her finger pointing directly at him.

"I resigned. I don't know who would replace me." He argued feebly. They both knew it would be Tigh and he also knew Tigh had absolutely no interest in command.

Kara's eyes narrowed as she glared at him. "Funny." She continued. "I can do this. I'm the only one who can."

"We need fighter pilots, a CAG, more… especially since…"

They both knew he meant Lee. "You can train new pilots. They can work extra shifts. What good are pilots if there isn't a competent leader to guide them?" She dropped to her knees in front of the man she loved like a father, resting her hands on his knees. "I know you want to go and I wish there was some way you could, but you can't. It's too risky. We need you here."

"It's risky to go. We don't know what we'll find on Ragnar. The Cylons might have destroyed it or they might have found a way to stay. We could die there." Adama mused, still avoiding the truth of the decision.

Kara squeezed his knees, getting him to focus on her. "Then it's decided, because that simply can't happen."

"What?" he asked.

"We can't lose both Adamas. We need the bloodline." She ended with a smile.

"I have to do this for him." Adama whispered.

"It's because of him that you can't do this." She redirected. "He's got so much to deal with already when he gets back. If something happened while you were gone," she breathed deeply. "It would have all been for nothing. You know him. He'd never let it go. He'd feel responsible and do something dumb."

It was all out in the open. Adama couldn't hide his true feelings. "I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't."

"You don't trust me?" She teased. "I'm the only other one on this ship who will do what's necessary for him. You know that, right?"

He nodded. "I know. But if I don't go, he'll say I left him."

She shook her head. "No, he won't. I'll make sure he knows." She paused. "I will save him."

He pulled her chin up. "You always do, but I can't let you do this. I have to."

Kara fumed. "FRAK!" She rose to her feet. "STUBBORN DAMN ADAMA BLOOD! AAAARRRGGGHHH!" She stormed out of Adama's quarters.

Adama couldn't help but smile at the passionate woman.

BSG

Adama had requested the raptor right away, but the reality of the situation meant he needed several days of training and planning. Although no one actually encouraged him in the endeavor, they jumped at the opportunity to help or answer his questions. Tyrol had come up with ingenious storage systems for the supplies they would need, including extra fuel. Gaeta took great pains to ensure the planned FTL jumps back to Ragnar would be safe. He mapped out a route that avoided known cylon occupied zones.

Tigh pretended to ignore the conversation going on at Gaeta's station. He didn't condone Adama's actions. He didn't care about the reasons. He just knew it was wrong. He'd long since stopped arguing. It hadn't done anything but anger the two men. He'd finally had enough. He charged over to the other two men. "We can't wait for you. If we have to jump, we'll do it."

Adama nodded. Gaeta said nothing, not wanting to come between his two commanding officers.

Tigh continued. "And because you might get captured, we're going to have to jump right after you leave. And we can't tell you the next plot, either."

Adama spoke softly and calmly. "I know that too."

"SO HOW THE HELL WILL YOU GET BACK IF YOU DON'T GET KILLED?" Tigh roared.

Adama sensed a fight. He wasn't willing to engage his XO in CIC. "I'm not worried about that right now." He nodded to Gaeta. "Thanks." He risked a glance at Tigh and added. "You have the deck."

Adama left CIC with Tigh at his heels. As soon as they were in Adama's office, Tigh fired. "Not worried? Since when don't you plan something five steps ahead?"

Adama smiled and chuckled. "Is that a compliment?"

Tigh scowled. "This isn't funny. Let's say this harebrained scheme of yours works. How will you find us?" He quickly added. "Assuming there's still an 'us' to find?"

Adama sighed. "It's the risk I'll have to take. We'll find you, Saul. We will." Seeing the picture of he and his sons on the corner of his desk, he added. "It's no scheme either. We're talking about Lee's life."

Tigh felt the implied reprimand. He replied softly. "I know… and I want you to succeed. I do. But don't forget, we're talking about your life too."

Adama smiled at his old friend and offered his hand. Tigh took it firmly. A second later, the two battle hardened soldiers embraced.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Adama knew there would be a fuss when he finally left. The raptor had been packed and prepared for days. He knew some of his crew wondered if he was backing out. It was all part of his plan. All he really needed was the Chief. When the time was right, he'd drug Lee. He'd been trained by Cottle himself on how to do the basic medical procedures that might be necessary. The chief would help him move the unconscious man to the raptor. Once the preflight was done, he'd call for his departure. No one would question his authorization and he'd be gone before anyone could get worked up.

They strapped Lee into the ECO station, arms and legs bound to the chair. Adama called in for the authorization, received it and the two men went about the final aspects of take off.

"Sir, may the lords be with you. I…" the chief was overwhelmed at what Adama was doing for his son.

Adama grasped the chief's shoulder and smiled. "Thanks. I appreciate it." He smiled and added. "Keep my ship in good shape until I get back."

Tyrol returned the smile. "I will, sir. I promise."

Adama stepped up the ramp into the ship.

It would have worked, had Kara not suspected as much. She watched the admiral like a hawk. She fully intended to be one step ahead of him, going so far as to get the same medical training. Had Adama known this, it wouldn't have been a big surprise when she decked her commanding officer as he stepped into the raptor after the preflight inspection. Once he and the chief had secured Lee inside, she slipped in and waited. It had been easy.

She pulled his limp form from the ship and stuffed a note into his pocket. She glanced up at Tyrol. "You might not want to be here when he wakes up."

He made no move to stop her. He acknowledged her recommendation with a smile and stepped back. "Good hunting, sir." He called, as she closed the hatch.

The raptor had cleared Galactica when Adama came around. The chief was supporting his shoulder. Adama turned his head and glared at the man. "You let her go?"

He didn't expect an answer. He pulled himself to his feet and considered ordering the CAP to disable her, but he noticed the white paper sticking out of his jacket. He pulled it out, read its content and sighed. He said nothing more to the chief. He simply left the deck. He ran to the observation deck and scanned the horizon to see if she'd really gone already. She had. "Bring him back, Starbuck. Bring him back." He whispered the command to cold space, knowing she would hear it.

**BSG**

Kara didn't remember going through this many jumps in one shot in all her career. It was draining. Each time she jumped and reappeared, she held her breath wondering if Cylons would be present. The jumps were made more stressful by Thirteen's continual complaining. Since waking, he'd done nothing but argue and complain. If she hadn't heard the chill to the voice, she might have been able to assume it was Lee toying with her. Thirteen had become the master at trickery. He tapped into Lee's memories and attitudes and used them against the humans.

In a way, she didn't blame him. They'd been cooped up in the ever-shrinking raptor for far too long. She considered a display of sympathy, letting him get up and stretch his legs. Before she could act, he mouthed off about the incident in the shower and she tossed the idea aside. Instead, she forced an aspirin down his throat.

"Swallow damn it! You don't want to get blood clots from not moving do you?" When he refused, she rubbed at his throat, forcing him to swallow.

Returning to the pilot's chair, she muttered and cursed at him. "stupid frakkin'… thinks he's a superior Cylon… doesn't even know to swallow… wants to die strapped to a chair rather than get there and attempt to escape. Jeesh… every human would know that… what an idiot."

Several jumps and a nap later, the raptor arrived at the storm cloud known as Ragnar. She had to wonder now, if some Admiral had known about the cylon reaction to the cloud. Is that why they located the station there? As she piloted the raptor into the midst, she whispered her prayers. "Lords of Kobol, hear my prayer. Be with your son and daughter today as we enter this mess… Make sure there's no Cylons here or coming soon… and destroy the frakking thing inside your son, Apollo, quickly."

Thirteen heard her prayer. "And you think I'm the idiot?"

**BSG**

Kara had studied the plans of Ragnar Anchorage. She docked at an obscure access hatch and combed the station for any sign of cylon activity. It was a big place. She'd secured a decent portion of it, before settling on the place she and 'Thirteen' would call home for as long as necessary.

She unloaded supplies and arranged camp before she came for her prisoner. She was surprised to find Lee for a fleeting moment on one trip. She was tempted to give in to the pale, blue eyes, but knowing it could be a ruse, she ignored him.

When she was finally ready to move Thirteen, she took out the tranquilizer gun which would become her most trusted companion. She held it to his neck. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way. It all depends on how badly you'd like to stretch those utterly human legs of yours." She released the safety to emphasize her point.

He glared at her. "I'll walk. I have all the time in the world to kill you." He paused, as if a thought just occurred to him. "I suppose you'd like to frak first?"

She ignored his threat and released one of his legs and then his left arm. "You can do the rest."

He opened his mouth to argue, but she merely pushed the gun deeper into his neck.

He moved to free his right hand first, but she corrected him, again pushing the gun into his neck. "Eh Eh Eh! I don't think so. The foot first." She wanted his hands free for as short a time as possible.

If Thirteen was thinking about an attack, he gave no indication. Use cautiously used a foot to turn the chair. Before trying to stand, he stretched his arms and flexed his fingers.

Kara slapped him alongside the back of the head. "Quit frakking around."

His head snapped at her. "I've been strapped to this chair the whole time. Excuse me if I make sure everything still works."

She sneered at him. "You're a mighty Cylon. Why wouldn't it all work?"

He shuffled his arms a bit more and then moved to his legs. He winced at the small movements.

Kara caught it. "Aw, the poor Cylon has aches and pains like a pathetic human?" She shoved at his shoulder.

Thirteen growled at her, sounding like an angry Adama himself. He pushed off the chair and pain screamed through his body. Yelping, he fell to the deck. Cramps spread up from his feet to his hips. He continued to groan at the pain, while being pushed forward by Kara's booted foot.

Thirteen crawled to his short lived freedom. His legs refused to hold him and Kara offered no assistance. As he dragged himself into their new home, he almost betrayed his disbelief. There before him, was a small, metal cage. It was barely large enough for him to stand and walk a few steps in either direction. On the ground was a rubber pad and one end seemed to open as a door.

"Like your new home? You didn't think you were going to get to roam free, did you?" Kara nudged him to the end. She told herself over and over that this was Thirteen, not Lee. She could humiliate the Cylon.

Once inside, Thirteen rubbed at his aching limbs. Every few minutes he lashed out at the side of the cage, testing its strength. "This is BARBARIC! You can't expect me to live like this!" He roared, pressing himself up to the bars and reaching through with both hands.

Kara glared at him. "No. I don't expect you to live like this. I want you to DIE!"

Thirteen pulled back, suddenly calm. "I promise you. If I die, I take him with me. I've told you people over and over. I will willingly die, but I'll take him with me."

Kara simply smiled. "I don't think so."

**BSG**

Days passed. Kara went for many hours exploring different areas of the station. If she stumbled across supplies she thought the fleet could use, she noted it and moved what she could to a common area. The fleet hadn't had time to claim more than armaments.

She refused to doubt the goal of the mission, even though Thirteen showed no sign of distress from the storm's radiation. He was even well enough to resume tormenting tactics. He continually pounded an arm, leg or his head against the cage. He also refused to eat.

"Suit yourself. I know Cylons can go without food and water longer than a human can, but Lee's body is human. Like it or not, your body is human. You will succeed in killing yourself." Kara rationed, as she warmed a field dinner.

Thirteen's eyes narrowed on her. "Isn't that the goal?"

She glared back at him, a small smile forming on her lips. "Only if you're conceding the battle to Lee."

"To Lee? What will you give me to let him live?" Thirteen asked, suddenly feeling very confident.

Kara laughed at the offer. "What would you possibly have to offer me?"

He knelt on the pad, leaned forward and grabbed the bars. "I'll let him come forward…"

She cut him off. "Ha. Very funny. No thanks. A five minute visit with Lee is not the goal. We're here to rid him of you forever."

"You cut me off." He released the bars and sat back on his haunches. "I was going to say, I'll let Lee control the body, forever."

Kara stared stunned for a moment, then laughed. "Yeah, that's gonna happen. I totally trust you to keep that deal."

"Why doubt me?" he demanded.

"Why not? What value is there for me in death? If I let Lee have control, we both live."

She glared at him. "I'm not an idiot. You could retake control at any moment. NO. This ends here." She mumbled afterward, "Soon I hope."

**BSG**

Kara was beginning to wonder how long the Leoben model had been here when the Galactica found him. She was beginning to doubt the theory when on the fifth day, Thirteen began to sweat uncontrollably. She grinned at him. "It's working."

"Don't kid yourself. I will take Lee with me." From that promise, he refused water as well.

Kara knew it was now a race against the clock. A human could go three or four days at best without water. She prayed to the gods this would end soon.

Later that evening she watched Lee's body toss restlessly on the mat. Sweat poured off him and he trembled in his sleep. She approached him slowly and reached out to grab his arm. She froze, waiting to see if he woke. When nothing changed, she moved as quickly as she could in the awkward situation and extracted a blood sample. She had to assure herself that this was working.

She waited for the results and squealed with delight when the testing revealed a decrease in the pathogen in his blood. It was the news she needed to keep going. The happiness however, resulted in waking him.

"Is it better?"

Kara refused to look right away. She was absorbing the sound of Lee's voice. She wasn't naïve enough to think it was him. She'd been tricked before. It wouldn't happen again. She didn't want to miss an opportunity to enjoy the voice though. "Yep, you're dying Thirteen." She spun around to face him. The color of his eyes was dull and the eyes themselves seemed sunken into his face.

He swallowed. "Can I have some water?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I thought you weren't taking any?" She gloated at his request.

Lee tried licking his lips, but it failed him. "He might have. I'm thirsty."

Kara's hard edge shattered. "Lee?" She moved quickly to the cage and pulled the lid off the canteen. "Here, drink." She held his head lightly as he gulped. "Not so fast. There's plenty."

He coughed and rolled onto his side. "Maybe, but who knows when I'll get back. He may kill me before then."

"DON'T FRAKKING SAY THAT!" She roared at him. Lee flinched and she calmed. "This is the big one Lee. You've got to keep fighting him from within." She smiled and held the side of his face. "I've got him just where I want him out here."

He touched her hand, took another drink and lay back on the mat. "No repeats."

"Huh?"

He stroked her finger gently. "I didn't think you'd want a repeat of the shower?" Lee's voice grew colder. "Unless you want it? Do you?" Thirteen sat up. "Open that gate and your dreams can come true. You can frak Lee Adama's brains out. Isn't that why you brought him here? One last frak before he dies?"

Kara was stunned into silence. Her fury at being duped again claimed her voice.

Thirteen laughed. "I should have said, one first frak before death. What do you say, Starbuck? Want a ride?"

She glared at him and backed away. "You're a sick frak."

"You'll never know. You must know that." He continued, focusing on her.

She stammered. "Know what?"

"How much was him and how much was me? It's killing you isn't it? The shower? Just now? Was any part of it Lee Adama wanting you or was it all a cylon trick?"

She said nothing. She simply shook her head and backed away. Once she'd left the area, she broke into an all out run. Feet pounding the deck were all that could be heard. When her lungs would take her no further, she bent in half and let out a powerful scream. The flow of hot tears mingled with the sweat she'd worked up and she cried until her body fell limply to the deck.

**BSG**

Being an admiral, in command of an entire fleet of vessels, constantly on the run from the enemy seldom allowed time for enjoying perks. At most times, it wasn't an issue for Bill Adama. Since the departure of his family, he pulled rank nightly. He didn't hear Laura Roslin enter the observation deck.

"I'm told you empty this place out nightly. I assume you want to be alone, but I thought I'd interrupt this once." She waited for him to turn and acknowledge her. He finally did so. "Can I also assume we haven't heard anything?"

"If my son was home, I wouldn't be here." He grumbled quietly.

"No, I suppose not. It should be soon though." She offered optimistically.

"Depending on how soon they can find us." He stated flatly. There was a time he felt Laura Roslin was a resource for his son, someone who wanted the best for him, as he did. He couldn't help but feel betrayed by her since this began. She had wanted to him say his son should die. Even Tigh hadn't done that.

As if she read his mind, she spoke candidly. "I know you don't believe I want this to work, but I do. I do care about him."

"It saves your image. You don't have to flush him out an airlock."

She was stunned. Her face paled. "I… I…" She stumbled backward.

Her distress alarmed Adama and he thought about what he'd just said. "I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. I… I was speaking…" He couldn't finish his thought.

"As a father. I'd want no less. You've earned that." She paused, scanned the space field at his side for a few moments then stepped back. "I'll leave you." She was almost at the door when another thought compelled her to speak. She didn't return to him, she raised her voice. "For what it's worth, I do wish you could have been the one to take him. I wish it had been possible."

"The Cylons have made a lot of things impossible." He turned to face her, sending a message of truce between them.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

When Kara finally returned to their 'home', Thirteen was once again sprawled on the mat, restlessly sleeping. She settled into her own sleeping bag and watched him until sleep claimed her.

She woke in the morning to Thirteen all but climbing the bars. "Let me out!"

She pushed herself up to rest on a shoulder and simply looked at him.

He pulled violently on the gate. "LET ME OUT OF HERE. I have to get out!"

"You can set yourself free. Die. Won't you be resurrected?" She pushed at him, further fueled by yesterday's confrontation. "Oh, that's right. You don't have a body or an actual model!"

Thirteen abruptly turned around and sat against the bars banging his head against them. "You really think this storm will save him?"

She walked over and knelt next to the cage. She leaned in and whispered to him. "This would be far easier on you if you just give up and let Lee have control. Your death will be easier."

He turned to face her. "If I'm going to die, I'm going to take Lee with me and I certainly won't make it easy on him or you."

**BSG **

Thirteen struggled to fight the effects of the radiation. As the day wore on he became increasingly more incoherent and continued to refuse food and water. He used all his strength to keep Lee away.

At one point, Kara attempted to force water down his throat, but since she couldn't properly hold or support his head Thirteen coughed and sputtered. Afraid water was going into his lungs, she stopped trying.

After the water incident, Thirteen curled into the side of the cage. It wasn't clear if he was sleeping or simply trying to control his responses. The only sound heard from him was occasional muttering. Kara pretended to read, but she listened carefully for signs of Lee emerging. She was terrified Thirteen was right and could take Lee with him.

Movement from the cage entered her peripheral vision. Glancing over, she saw Lee's body shaking and all at once violent jerking erupted. His body thrashed against the bars and his head snapped horrifically up and down. She jumped to her feet and retrieved the key to the lock. With the calm handling of a viper in combat, she manipulated the lock and swung the gate open, reaching down a steady arm to Lee's flailing body.

Thirteen reached up and viciously grabbed her arm. Unprepared for an attack, Kara had no time to react and her head bounced off the edge of the gate, stunning her. Thirteen scrambled to his feet and pushed past her, free at last. He scanned the room quickly for any supplies he might need. Seeing none, he moved toward the corridor which would take him to the raptor, still docked at their initial access point.

Kara pulled herself to her feet and wiped the back of her hand across her eye to clear the stream of blood flowing from the cut on her forehead. Stumbling to her bed area, she grabbed at the first weapon she found, not bothering to note what it was. She'd removed her belt when she stretched out to read. It cut into her thighs.

Releasing the safety, she roared after Thirteen, praying his condition prevented him from moving quickly. The ever present silence of the station was obliterated by the pounding of feet, one set steady and firm, the other set awkward and irregular.

Kara quickly covered the distance between them. Seeing Thirteen before her, she leapt at him and caught him around the knees. They both crashed hard to the deck and rolled against the bulkhead. Kara held on for all she was worth. She was in a dangerous spot. If Thirteen could free his legs, she would be defenseless. Lee Adama, in top fighting form, could easily defeat her from this position, but Thirteen was weakened, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

Thireen struggled and wormed against the force that held his lower half. Just ahead of him, an arm's length away, was a discarded extinguisher. He used his still powerful upper half to drag them forward.

Kara held on, assuming Thirteen was attempting to move them toward the hatch. A subtle change in the airflow and forward movement caused her to look up just in time to see a large metal object coming toward her. She released Thirteen's legs and rolled to the side.

Thirteen felt the pressure leave his legs and felt Kara roll across them. It was too late to completely adjust the angle of the extinguishers descent, but he moved enough to catch her along the back.

Kara cried out as the object hit her back. "Damnit LEE, help me here!" Temporarily unable to move as the pain washed over her, she looked for Thirteen.

**BSG**

Adama rolled over and sat up on the edge of his bunk. It was yet another sleepless night. Running his hands through his hair, he tried to figure out what good he was actually doing the fleet at the moment. He couldn't concentrate on anything other than Lee. It was tearing him apart not knowing what was happening.

Tonight he woke from a dream. His son, alternating between a little boy and a grown man, was down a well and reaching out to him. Over and over Lee called for his father. Adama had called out to Lee to let him know he was coming, but Lee didn't seem to hear him.

"_Dad, I need you. Please come. Dad, why won't you come? You said you'd never leave me!"_ Lee's anguished cries were the last thing he remembered from the dream. Adama was filled with the knowledge that once again, he'd failed his son.

He dragged himself across the room and switched on his desk lamp. If sleep wasn't going to ease his pain, he'd try losing himself in work. He picked up the reports he'd been trying to read all day. He fought to focus his eyes on the words, but none made sense.

He rubbed at his eyes and blinked a few times before his second attempt. Two words focused for him, Cloud Nine. He rubbed at his eyes again, thinking he was making progress. When he opened them and looked at the report, again, only two words focused, Cloud Nine.

He smiled.

**BSG**

Thirteen was struggling to get to his feet. "Lee can't help you." He turned and continued down the corridor.

Kara drew in a deep breath and continued after him. "Stop now, Thirteen."

He denied her request, but called out to her as he moved on. "I'm sorry. I can't do that Kara. I have to get off this station. It's not conducive to my health." He stopped and turned back to her, knowing she was still several meters behind him. "But then again, you knew that."

As she limped forward, she checked her weapon. She screamed inside. She'd grabbed her gun, not the tranquilizer. She had no desire to further injure Lee with a bullet. She wasn't even sure the tranquilizer wouldn't have been too much for him right now. Dropping her head to accept the situation, she knew she had no choice. If Thirteen reached the hatch, he'd use Lee's knowledge to pilot the raptor out of here, leaving her stranded and Lee Adama forever lost to the Cylons.

"This isn't going to work. Give up now!" She called out to him. His only response was laughter. She aimed above his head and fired. "That was a warning. The next shot goes in you."

He stopped and looked at her. The light in the corridor was dim, casting an eerie and ominous glow over both figures. "You would kill Lee? You love him too much. You wouldn't be able to live with yourself. You would have killed both Adama sons."

He couldn't read her expression. She knew that. She didn't bother to cover her doubt and guilt. "I will. It would be my gift to him." She fired again. She did love Lee, but Thirteen would never understand how.

"Will you turn the gun on yourself or will you bring my dead body back to my father?" Lee taunted. With each word, he stepped closer to the hatch, his eyes occasionally glancing over to the latch that released the ship. He would open the hatch and dive in, leaving Kara stranded here. Thirteen felt it was a fitting end. Lee screamed inside.

"He's not your father and he wouldn't blame me. We've always said we would free Lee, one way or the other." Kara also advanced on the hatch and Thirteen.

Thirteen smiled. "You're too late and you won't really shoot him. Not here. Not now. Cottle isn't here to save him." He stretched out his arm and opened the airlock. As his fingers depressed the switch, he heard the shot, microseconds before the searing pain entered his shoulder.

The bullet's impact pushed him backward, away from the open hatch. He pulled himself to his knees and prepared to dive anyway, when another shot bounced off the deck just in front of his knee. He looked up to meet Kara's impassive face. Despite her lack of emotion, he knew she would kill him.

Thirteen glanced over at the open airlock. Kara was inching closer, the gun leveled squarely on him. He knew if he tried to reach the raptor, she could deliver a fatal shot. Instead, a smile formed on his lips.

Kara watched as a sickening smile spread across Thirteen's face. "What's so funny?"

Thirteen coughed, and then spoke. "I think I have the most fitting solution to this situation. One that will benefit us both."

Kara cautiously stopped her advance, Thirteen well in her sites. "This ought to be good. I suppose you're going to offer to go dormant again?"

Thirteen shook his head. "No. I'm going to give you your heart's desire." In an instant he reached above his head and pulled at the lever.

Kara couldn't fire. All she did was scream. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" As the raptor pulled away from the station, the open hatchway expelled the air. Thirteen was slammed against the bulkhead and Kara flew toward the open airway.

She was about to slip through the hatch into open space, when an arm reached out and grabbed her. Thirteen steadied her. She pushed against the edge of the hatch with her free arm and fought to slide it across until she found the switch to seal it. It closed immediately and she fell hard to the deck. Both figures sat gasping for breath.

Kara looked over at Thirteen when she'd replaced distress with fury. "YOU'RE FRAKKING INSANE! DON'T YOU REALISE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?"

Thirteen suddenly looked exhausted. "Given you your heart's desire? I'll die. Lee will live and the two of you can live out the rest of your lives together here." Before she could yell more, Thirteen collapsed forward.

Kara pinched him several times to be sure he wasn't faking and then fell back against the bulkhead next to him, scanning the corridor of the station that was to be her home for as long as they might live. Tears rolled uncontrolled down her face.

**BSG**

Kara had no idea how long she sat there crying out her anger and frustration. Eventually she noted the blood spilling from Lee's shoulder wound and pulled herself together. She pulled Lee's body back through the corridor to their base. She didn't bother putting him in the cage. She needed to be able to tend his wound and she doubted there was anything more he could do to her. Thirteen had sealed their fates.

He'd been unconscious for several hours when he showed the first signs of waking. She was at his side, pushing a cup of water at his lips.

He moaned and shoved it away. "Do you… think… things have changed?"

She returned the cup to his mouth, forcing it open. "Yeah. What's the point in fighting me now? You have no hope of survival or escape, so at least let Lee live."

He sputtered as the fluid washed down his throat. When she let up, he coughed and spoke again. "It doesn't explain why I should help."

Kara shook her head and sat back. "If you want your death to be long and difficult, so be it. All I know is; you will die now."

He nodded. "We hadn't planned on this. We forget how stubborn you are."

Kara smiled. "Your god underestimates us all the time, always has."

"No, some humans are more resourceful than others." He gasped and struggled for a few breaths. "You know we would have defeated the fleet by now if it weren't for the Adamas." Pain contorted Thirteen's face and he couldn't control the groan that escaped.

"That's why you're here?" She smiled at the thought of the Cylons hating the Adamas. It brought her comfort. She knew at least one would go on to battle for humanity. "Why don't you just stop fighting him? Let Lee out."

He shook his head. "Never. I fought to long for this. I still intend to take him with me if I can."

"I won't let you." She stated with confidence. He knew his plan was crumbling. He'd admitted it.

"You have no control over it." His eyes fluttered and closed.

Kara watched him and whispered. "I will save him."

Kara did what she could for Lee over the next hours. She'd never felt so helpless in her life. Thirteen seemed to be delirious, yet never gave up control. He thrashed in his sleep and it was keeping the gunshot wound from sealing. Not only was a bullet still lodged within, he'd had no food and very little water for days, but now what precious fluid he had, was slowly draining from him.

She didn't dare sleep. She couldn't take her eyes off Lee. She sat still, mumbling prayers to all the gods. Every now and again, she would bathe his brow with a cool cloth. It did little to fight the fever that raged within him, but it seemed to ease his distress for only a short time. She debated trying to remove the bullet herself, but it seemed impossible to her that she wouldn't do more damage.

"Kara?"

The raspy voice called softly to her. She sat up and quickly wet the cloth. As she held it to his face, she urged him to rest.

"He's dying. I can feel it."

Kara was lost for an answer. Part of her wanted to shout with joy, but she really had no idea who was speaking. "Shh! Save your strength."

Lee turned his head toward Kara, meeting her eyes. "I'm going to make it. I won't leave you alone here. It's the least I can do." Lee struggled for a deeper breath. "I tried to stop him from releasing the ship."

She nodded. "I know you did, Lee. It'll be ok. Everything will be fine, as long as you keep fighting."

"Oh," Thirteen sneered, "I will."

The mocking tone came across loud and clear and Kara knew Lee was gone. "You bastard."

Thirteen choked out a laugh. "Pathetic humans. So very weak. What I wouldn't give to be full Cylon, to be perfect."

Kara glared at him. "Perfect? If Cylons are so perfect, where are they? Why aren't they here trying to save you? Fight for you? They don't care. They've left you alone."

"They know I am only one. One can be sacrificed if it benefits the multitude."

"That's an awfully cold world. I'll stay human, where we value each life." Kara silently laughed at herself. She sounded like a politician.

"Don't lie to yourself. Every life isn't valued. Humans waste life daily. Cylons acknowledge it. We're honest. At least I know what I do is right. Do you still question the destruction of the Olympic Carrier? Lee does. It haunts him."

Kara bit her tongue to control her actions and words. She had an overwhelming desire to physically hurt Thirteen. "You think you have it all figured out don't you? You belittle us, but the truth is you lack the one thing that will defeat the Cylons."

"And what would that be?" He coughed, losing strength at their verbal battle. "Share your divine wisdom."

"Love." Kara couldn't believe this argument was coming from her mouth. It sounded weak and pathetic. Could love really be such an all important thing to humans? She'd certainly never ordered her life by it. "That's why you hate Lee. He has people who love him and fight for him and you have nothing. It's why you want to take him with you. If the Cylons can't feel love, they want to destroy it. It's the one thing they can't have or feel, so they try to eliminate it."

She felt empowered by her own logic. "You can't stand living inside Lee. The Cylons must have thought it was safe to use him. They thought the Adamas were at odds, but you got here and found out that Lee has lots of love for his father. It screwed you up at every turn, didn't it?"

"Ridiculous." Thirteen scowled. "Cylons aren't the least bit interested or worried about some pathetic little feeling like love." Thirteen looked as if he wanted to say more, but his body was wracked with tremors and his pain seemed to increase. He closed his eyes and drifted off.

Kara pushed back and continued to watch him, waiting anxiously for the end. "Sure, whatever you say."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

The firm hand on her shoulder startled her awake. She had no idea when she'd fallen asleep or how long she'd been unaware. Her first thought was Lee and her mouth fell open as if to scream when she saw him still on the makeshift bed before her. She clamped her mouth shut and steeled herself to face whatever threat stood behind her.

"Kara, it's ok. It's me. I didn't mean to scare you."

Kara was stunned, tears flooded her eyes. She'd know that gruff, yet loving voice anywhere. She turned slowly to face the warm smile of William Adama. "Sir?"

She sprang at his chest and was immediately enveloped in his strong arms. She muttered over and over. "I can't believe you're here."

His eyes stared at Lee, but he replied many times over for her, "I'm here. You're not alone anymore."

Finally believing it wasn't a dream, she pulled back. "But how?"

He shook his head. "Time enough for that later. How's Lee?"

She looked to Lee. "Um, I don't know. Thirteen was close to the end, but he's not letting Lee go. He's trying to take Lee down with him."

Adama nodded. "Have you tested the blood lately?" He was fresh to the situation and needed information. Kara was obviously exhausted and had been through enough already.

She shook her head. "I had to shoot him. He was losing too much blood already. I didn't think to test it." She was rambling, whether from exhaustion or relief was unclear.

Adama accepted the information, but in his mind, he knew the small amount needed for the test wasn't going to harm Lee more. He quickly went about drawing a blood sample and set the test in motion. While he waited, he cleaned Lee up and redressed the wound. Lee never stirred. Adama's worry grew. He kept glancing back and forth between Lee and Kara, wishing he knew what all had transpired. He wasn't quite sure he'd ever seen Kara so shaken. He cursed himself for not coming sooner.

Kara held her breath as Adama went back to the medical equipment to check the test results. He held his as well.

"Well?" Kara demanded, when Adama remained silent.

Adama barely got the words out. "It's gone."

"From the blood?" She said shakily, not ready to believe the battle might really be over.

He nodded. "There isn't a trace remaining in the sample."

Kara nervously ran her fingers through her hair. "But it could still be in his brain. We can't test for that. We need to wait."

Adama looked anxiously at his son. "I know, but…"

Kara climbed to her feet and moved to Adama's side. "He'll fight. We have to be sure. We have to give the radiation more time."

Adama grudgingly nodded. He pushed Kara gently back and placed both hands on her shoulders. "You need rest. Go lay down. I'm here now. I'll watch over him."

She acknowledged the order and walked away. Reaching her own sleeping bag, she looked back at him. "Why are you here?"

He smiled. "I knew I was needed."

"I can't believe they let you go." She said sleepily, as her head hit the pillow.

He laughed. "They don't know I'm here. They think I'm on Cloud Nine."

A smile formed on her lips as she drifted off to sleep. She knew there was a reason she loved this man. She mumbled. "They bought you taking a vacation?"

"I'm convincing."

**BSG**

Adama sat on the deck next to his son. His worry grew. Lee's vitals were shaky at best. Even if they left soon, there was no guarantee Lee would make it back to the fleet. Adama was trying to stay rational and calm. He knew his son needed his strength, not panic.

An urge came over him. He clutched Lee's chin and turned his face toward him. "Lee?"

There was no response, so Adama tried giving his son's head a gentle shake. "Lee, I need you to wake up."

He was rewarded with a small groan. "That's it son, come back. Time to wake up."

He moved his hand to tap at Lee's cheek and was again rewarded, this time by two dull, blue eyes.

Lee's mouth moved, but no sound came out. Adama lifted his head and helped him drink much needed water. "That's it son, not too fast now, nice and slow." Adama had no idea how happy he should have been at the unfettered consumption of fluid.

Lee coughed and tried speaking again. "Dad?"

Adama's heart nearly burst at the sound of his son's voice. "Yes, son. I'm here."

Lee looked confused. "Dreaming? Kara?"

Adama grinned. "No, you're not dreaming. Kara's resting and yes, I'm here."

Lee's confusion turned to sorrow or panic. Adama couldn't be sure which.

"Why?" Lee asked.

Adama knew what he was asking. "You're my son. I had to be here."

"The fleet? The risk?" Lee demanded, as forcefully as he could, which wasn't saying much.

"The fleet is fine. We're all going to be fine. I had to be here." Adama choked a bit and then added. "I should have been here from the beginning."

Lee shook his head as much as possible, which wasn't much. "No. Risk." He was tiring. It was getting harder to form thoughts. It suddenly occurred to him he was forming his own thoughts. There was nothing else present trying to influence his words or actions. A tear rolled down Lee's cheek.

"Son, what's wrong?" Adama was immediately alarmed by Lee's change.

Lee whispered. "He's gone. I'm alone." His lips trembled with unspent emotion.

Adama bit his lip to control his own emotional response. "You did it, son. You won."

"What cost?" Lee's eyes glittered with further tears, but he closed them, overwhelmed and needing rest.

Adama stroked Lee's cheek. "You rest, son. You've earned it. We'll get you home and well before you know it."

**BSG**

When Kara woke, Adama was packing up their supplies. He met her eyes. "Time to go."

"Lee?" she asked nervously.

"Is Lee, but he needs Cottle. I'm not waiting any longer."

She began to ask the question. "You're sur…" She shook her head. Kara rose quickly and the two set about packing Adama's raptor, which he moved to a closer hatch. The last thing they did was settle Lee comfortably in the back of the craft. He hadn't woken and it worried them both. His breathing was shallow and his body deathly still.

Kara settled into the pilot's chair, but stopped preflight and looked back to Adama. "Sir, there are plenty of supplies the fleet can use stored here."

He shook his head. "Not now. Get us home."

She nodded and released the raptor from the station's hull and moved her gently into the cloud. Adama came and sat next to her and they both saw the other raptor at the same time. She looked at him, answering his unspoken question. "He was trying to escape. He released it."

Adama raised an eyebrow. "It did?"

She nodded. "Shall I?"

He nodded. "I'll set the mag lock."

She flew over and they attached the other raptor to the bottom of their craft and made the first of many long jumps home.

Adama's ship held the coordinates of the fleet's prior location. Just before the final jump, Kara looked at Adama, who sat on the deck, cradling Lee in his lap. "Sir, we have to assume the fleet has jumped since you left. What do you think?"

"Cross your fingers."

"What do you mean?" She was stunned by his sense of calm.

"If they haven't figured out that I left, they might not have jumped." He explained.

She grinned. "So we are going to hope they were going to let you have an undisturbed vacation on Cloud Nine? That's a mighty big hope."

He said nothing, merely grinned. "Jump, Kara,"

"Aye aye, sir."

**BSG**

As it so happened, Adama's vanishing act had been discovered only shortly before the appearance of two colonial raptors on dradis. President Roslin had just come on board and both she and Colonel Tigh met the raptor.

Kara had requested medical with her landing permission and Cottle and crew were waiting as well.

The hatch swung down and everyone seemed to be holding their breath. Adama appeared in his full glory. He seemed to fill the entire hatch with his presence. Both Roslin and Tigh opened their mouths to start complaining at the same time. Adama silenced them both with a glare. He waved to Cottle. "NOW."

Cottle rushed on board and soon Lee was transferred to Life Station. Adama and Kara remained at Lee's side until they were finally pushed aside by two nurses who pulled the curtains shut.

Adama stood nearby, not willing to be far. He knew Lee had taken a turn for the worse. In the final hours of their journey, Lee's body had begun to swell. Something else had gone wrong.

**BSG**

Cottle appeared some time later, his face grim as usual. "It's not over."

Kara sprang to her feet with an unexpected display of energy. "What? It was gone. He even said Thirteen was gone. He would know." She was on the verge of panic, exhaustion and stress threatening to overwhelm her.

Cottle glared at her. "That may be true, but the damage has been done. He's weak, and fighting an infection from the gunshot wound. The body doesn't tend to like foreign objects." He let the first round of bad news set in before continuing with more. "We got the bullet out, but he can't eliminate the infection."

"Why?" It was Roslin who calmly asked.

"Dehydration had already put a strain on his kidneys, now the infection. He's suffering acute renal failure. We have to get fluids moving through him."

"That's why he was swelling up?" Adama asked, clarifying calmly.

"Yes. We've got him on dialysis. Now all we can do is hope we aren't too late and that he wants to keep fighting." Cottle sighed.

Adama ignored the concern in Cottle's words. He didn't bother asking, he made for the area where Lee slept. Cottle held an arm out. "Where do you think you're going?"

Adama's eyes narrowed in on the doctor's face. "I'm going to sit with my son." His glare and stance challenged Cottle to deny him.

Cottle knew better than to try, but when Kara attempted to follow him, he found his resolve. "Oh no you don't. You're coming with me. You look like you could use some help yourself."

Tigh slipped into the area the next morning. "Any change?"

Adama was exhausted and it showed, but he refused to leave Lee's side. "No, but he's not getting worse, so that's something."

They silently observed the pale man in the bed. Tigh could hardly recognize the sleeping figure. He was covered in the expected medical equipment, but his face and exposed body parts were grotesquely swollen and distorted. The embattled colonel didn't always agree with the young captain, but he didn't wish this suffering on anyone. He forced himself to look away.

"You look like you could really use that vacation on Cloud Nine now." He teased gently.

Adama grunted. "Maybe when Lee's better we'll both take one."

Tigh laughed softly. "You're never flying your own ship again you know. You can't be trusted. You've been hanging around Apollo and Starbuck too long. You've picked up their bad habits." He sobered. "Why didn't you tell me, Bill?"

Adama knew he'd hurt his friend when he slipped off. He was expecting this conversation. "You would have tried to stop me."

"You're damn right I would have. It was foolish." Tigh argued.

"They were stranded."

"You couldn't have known that. You took a hell of a risk at the expense of the fleet." Tigh continued his reprimand.

"Frak the fleet. This one time, they owed me." Adama nodded, calming from his outburst. "I knew they needed me. I had to go."

"I wouldn't have ultimately been able to stop you. You know that." Tigh admitted, resigned.

"I know. I didn't want the fight. It was easier to just go."

They remained silent for some time. Finally Tigh asked if he could bring Adama anything.

Adama shook his head. "All I need is my son."

Tigh smiled. "You've got him. He just needs a little time to catch up. He's just as full of the Adama bravado as his father. He'll be fine."

Adama was shaken at Saul's words. "You really think so?"

"Think what?" Tigh asked.

"Lee's like me?"

Tigh laughed. "Frak yes. With the two of you it will either be the end of the Cylons or us all. I'm personally hoping it's the Cylons." On that note, he left.

Adama squeezed Lee's hand more tightly. "Did you hear that? He likes us. He really does."

It was all Adama could do not to cry out when he felt the pressure to his grip returned. He looked down as Lee's hand fumbled to hold his more securely. He rested his free hand on the top of Lee's head and whispered. "That's it son. That's it. Make Cottle eat his words."

**BSG**

The next days were shaky for Lee, but he won the battles he faced and soon enough, his kidneys functioned on their own and the infection subsided. Lee succumbed to a deep, healing sleep. Although both Kara and Adama longed for Lee to wake, they were both forced to admit, this rest was best for Lee.

He was too tired and weak to say or do much when his eyes first opened, but they shimmered with relief when he saw his father and that he was home and safe. During the next days, he was able to wake more often and for increasing periods of time.

Meanwhile, Adama had been forced out and a regular taskforce of volunteers sat with Lee. Adama was overwhelmed at the show of support. Everyone from the president to Ellen Tigh had volunteered to sit with Lee. Kara made sure Ellen got a shift when Lee was sure to sleep the whole time. She argued against it, but ultimately Adama wasn't willing to insult his friend's wife.

During his waking times, Lee said little but seemed calm. He was quick to flash a small smile at a joke but refrained from talking about himself or his experience.

"Athelis is planning a return visit at my request." Cottle told Adama as they walked through the medical facility.

"Good."

"Good? No fights over this?" Cottle questioned.

Adama stopped and faced the doctor. "Lee's been through a hell of a lot, more than anyone else ever has. I certainly can't help him and you can only cure the physical ills. He'll need to work this out on his own."

Cottle stared at his commander.

"What?" Adama demanded, unaccustomed to silence from his chief medical officer, who always had a quippy comeback.

"I can't believe you just admitted you can't help him." Cottle replied. "I think it's the first time you haven't tried to control everything."

Adama was annoyed at the doctor's comment. Any other officer would have been thrown in hack for the attitude and statement. "I'm going to be there for him, but I know I can't heal him. Anything he needs, he'll get. Is that understood?"

Cottle actually smiled. "Jeesh, that was made clear the moment he stepped on board. Like father like son."

Cottle walked off before he got thrown in hack for sure. Adama watched him go. Twice recently, others noted the similarities between them. Adama had never felt it before. He wasn't sure how to respond, but knew it felt damn good.

**BSG**

Lee was now sitting up most of the day and taking short, assisted walks around life station. He no longer had round-the-clock company, at his own request. He appreciated what they were trying to do, but he needed time alone to process everything that had happened.

He couldn't deny the facts. He'd killed three people and injured many more, including his own father. Sure, his brain knew it had been his body, used by another, but his heart dreamed, and in those dreams it was his hands causing the loss. He struggled to forgive himself. He couldn't quite look Kara or his father in the eyes, at least not for long.

He was waiting for his latest test results, when his father strode in on cue. "Afternoon, son. How are you today?"

Lee glared at him and snidely replied. "Same as ever, thanks."

Adama backed up a step and held his hands out. "Sorry for asking."

Lee groaned. "It's all anyone asks."

Adama tried to lighten the mood. "Well, it is pretty standard."

Lee ignored the levity. "They don't know what else to say."

"Why do you say that?" Adama sat, unbidden, on the end of the bed.

Lee scowled, much like his father when he was angry. "They're afraid of me. They think the Cylon will return at any moment."

Adama was about to answer, when Cottle cut in. "Nope. It's gone."

Lee looked at him, still suspecting bad news. "Like last time?" He switched his gaze to his father and raised an eyebrow.

"No, not like last time. I'm not playing that game again. I've seen how angry you get." Cottle teased, but was still serious. He had delivered his message to the admiral. "I can't find a hint or tiny residue of any form of the poison, anywhere."

Adama asked before Lee could. "The brain too?"

"Brain scans don't show anything out of the ordinary. I suspect the radiation was the key." Cottle affirmed.

Lee tried to believe the news. "So I can get out of here?"

Adama frowned at his son's enthusiasm. "Son…"

Cottle scowled. "Ingrate! Like we want to keep you around here? No, you've got more quality time with Ishtay. You're still pretty weak."

Lee flopped back against the pillow. "It's not exactly stimulating here."

Cottle groaned. "Yeah, we found it messes with resting to stimulate the environment." He turned and left, with no commitment to Lee's discharge.

Adama chuckled. "How does he get away with it?"

Lee added. "I can't believe Kara hasn't shot him."

"Hey! I had to do it! Won't you ever forgive me?" Kara had heard Lee's last comment and stormed in. "At least I'm a good shot and didn't permanently injure anything."

Lee laughed softly. "I forgive you, but I might hire you to shoot Doc Cottle. He needs a taste of his own medicine."

From across the room, they all burst into laughter when Cottle's voice bellowed. "I HEARD THAT!"

Lee stopped first and simply watched the smiles and laughter from the people he loved most of all. He was overcome with emotion for all they had sacrificed and risked to save him.

"Lee, what's wrong?" Kara asked, seeing his turn in mood.

Adama waited for Lee's answer as well.

Lee took several deep breaths. His answer was quiet and difficult for him to find words for. "I… You two saved me… What you did… I never… I…Thirteen did…"

Adama rested his hand on Lee's leg. "We did what we had to do, son. You don't have to thank us."

Lee looked away from them. "No. I do. You risked so much and fought so hard. I… I don't… I know what he did and said to you both. You didn't deserve it. I was weak. I couldn't stop him."

Kara tired to explain her heart. "Lee, you did stop him. You never gave up. I saw how hard you were fighting. I had to help. I know you'd do the same for me."

Lee's chest heaved at the emotion and Adama wondered if it was physically too soon for Lee to deal with his emotions. He tried to think of a way to end the discussion. "Son, Kara's right. We fought only as hard as you did. We couldn't have done anything if you hadn't been fighting too. That's why we won."

Lee finally turned back to them. "Did we? Did we win?"

Kara nodded, stunned that Lee would doubt it. "Of course."

Lee argued. "People are dead and we've gained nothing. We're no better off."

Adama stepped in. "We are too. We had a battle and won. The Cylons were convinced of victory and we handed them defeat. It will cause them to always second-guess themselves. That's a hell of a step in our favor."

"And we have Ragnor." Kara added.

Lee was confused. She spoke of it as if it had been happy memories. "I almost killed you."

"In your dreams." She vainly charged.

"Kara?" Lee countered.

Adama stopped them before they got too off course. "What Kara means, is that a small group of scientists has asked to return to Ragnar and research the radiation. Since it's free of cylon presence, the president agreed to a short term mission. One of the ships will jump back and also bring back what supplies they can."

"It's dangerous." Lee stated.

"Yes, but they see it as worth the risk. Your experience may have unlocked a clue to a new weapon that can defeat the Cylons once and for all." Adama smiled, seeing some relief cross Lee's expression.

"Maybe now we can get rid of Doc Baltar?" Kara quipped.


	12. The End

**The End**

Cottle got his revenge for Lee's threat by keeping him another two weeks. He wasn't ready for return to duty, but no longer needed constant medical care.

Lee surprised everyone by willingly agreeing to spend his recuperation on Cloud Nine. There he would rest, relax and see Doctor Athelis. He didn't try and fool anyone. The experience with Thirteen had scarred his psyche. The guilt weighed heavily on him and dreams tormented his sleep. He couldn't help but wonder if he even wanted to return to Galactica.

Adama again flew his son over, much to Tigh's dismay. "You are coming back, RIGHT?"

Both Adama and Lee had laughed. Lee was again settled into his room on Cloud Nine and after a hearty dinner, they were enjoying a drink by the pool before Adama was to head back. He stared at his son with a strange expression on his face.

"What?" Lee demanded, feeling uncomfortable at the scrutiny.

Adama smiled. "My son, all grown up. Where did the time go?"

Lee's first instinct still flew to bitterness, but he shoved it aside. They were long past the need. "Dad…" Lee groaned instead.

Adama chuckled. "Didn't know your old man was a sentimental fool, did ya?" He sighed. "I didn't know I was either." He took a long drink and went on. "There are days I think this is all a dream and I'll walk on to your mother's porch and my boys, my little boys will greet me with smiled and the best hugs…" He shook his head. "And then here you are, sitting next to me, a grown man…"

"Dad… I can't thank you enough." Lee's voice was calm and unemotional. It was obvious he wasn't comfortable with Adama's confession. He wasn't ready to think about happier, simpler times.

Adama was remotely frustrated his son still struggled to accept his love. "Lee, you don't have to. It's my job." He saw immediately it was the wrong thing to say. Lee's expression changed to a scowl. He thought for a moment on what he hoped were the right words. "You're my son. I'm your father. I know it didn't always seem like I cared, Lee. But I always did. I'd do anything for you. I promise you. It's always been that way and always will."

"I'm not a little boy any more, dad. Those days are gone… in more ways than one." Lee was quiet, thinking about what his father had just said. "You're right though. There was a time I would have never believed that you cared and there were times you really acted as if you didn't."

Adama winced, but felt a spark of hope. "But now?"

"Through it all, I didn't want to let you down. I couldn't let the Cylons get to you through me… despite all we've been through."

Adama grinned. "You were protecting me? It's my job to protect you." He paused, sipping his drink. He knew there were more untouched issues between them. There was one glaring at him from the depths of his heart. "I couldn't tell you about the residual poison, Lee. I couldn't bear seeing you live with the fear and doubt."

Lee sighed. "Protecting me, huh?" He grew quiet again and concentrated on the remainder of his drink. He swirled it dangerously close to the top of his glass. "Sometimes we do dumb things, huh…"

"For love…" _Damn! Why can't I just tell him I love him?_ He squirmed in his chair and then settled again. "I'm proud of you, Lee. You fought so hard. You never gave up."

"Everyone keeps saying I didn't give up. I asked you to kill me, dad. Isn't that giving up?" Lee questioned. He hadn't considered what it would cost his father to take such a step. All at once, it came to him. "You wouldn't have done it, would you? Despite what you promised?"

Adama looked into his glass, anywhere but Lee's probing eyes. "No, I wouldn't do it. I would never give up on you."

Lee didn't know how to feel. Part of him was angry and betrayed and another was encircled with love.

Adama finally looked to Lee. "I knew we'd find a way."

"You never doubted it?"

Adama smiled. "Despite what you may think, Lee. I never doubt you. You're my son."

"I'll try and remember that." Lee whispered. He was looking deep inside and wondered if a small amount of weight had just lifted from his soul.

BSG

Lee spent several weeks rebuilding his body, mind and soul on Cloud Nine. He was helped along the way by Athelis and frequent visits from Kara and his father. He ignored the occasional distrusting glare from a civilian who still thought he was a Cylon, but all in all, he was on the way to health.

There'd been intense stress in the beginning of his stay. Athelis had suggested Lee didn't need to return to his old life. He could move on and resign his commission. Adama had been devastated to learn Lee was considering it. He had become so accustom to Lee's presence on board, the Galactica had been more a home than ever before.

Lee struggled with the decision. Had there not been a cylon attack that nearly cost an entire civilian ship, he might have followed through on the resignation. Lee had watched the battle from an observation deck and felt compelled to fight. His body had itched for the rush of battle. The frustration of merely watching and being incapable of helping, left him more drained than the fear of return.

Lee had been bragging about morning jogs in the phony sunshine, so Kara joined him one morning. They finished toward the entrance of the park and Lee stopped to catch his breath and stretch at the gate. He knew Kara did the same behind him. A slight cramp came over him and he reached out to grab the bars of the gate for support. Suddenly, he froze. His eyes were fixed to the bars. A chill passed through his heart and his body shivered.

Kara's hand settled on his. "I'm sorry, Lee. We had to do it… It's over now."

Lee drew in a deep breath and turned to look at her. "I know. It just threw me for a second. I needed to be caged."

"Thirteen needed to be caged," she corrected him immediately. "Lee Adama could never be caged. He's a free spirit." She grinned broadly.

He laughed softly. "Free spirit?"

She laughed at the irony and tried to explain it. "Well, free thinker, at least."

Again, he raised an eyebrow in her direction. "You do know I'm in the military, right?"

"Not here." She glanced around and held out her hand. "Let's get breakfast."

He stared at her hand and grew pensive.

"What's wrong Lee?"

"I can't believe you offer me your hand so lightly after what I… he did to you." His words were barely audible.

She grabbed Lee's tanks and pulled him forward. "If I was afraid of him, I wouldn't have gotten in that raptor. I'm fine, Lee and you're going to be."

"He really twisted things around between us," he added subtly. "Didn't he?"

This was the question Kara had been trying to answer herself. She released Lee, pushed him back and tuned away as she spoke. "Yeah, he did."

Lee watched her back, gulping for air. Kara's reaction wasn't what he expected. He stretched out his arm and touched her shoulder. "Kara. He did, right?"

Kara turned back to face him, her lips pursed. "Lee, I love you. I do… I just don't know…"

He smiled and cut her off. "if it's in that way?" He began to laugh.

His attitude pissed her off and she punched his shoulder. She'd done it without thought and caught his healing wound. He winced and doubled over. "Oh gods, Lee. I'm sorry. I didn't think…"

He grimaced, but straightened. "Don't worry about it. I'm used to you not thinking."

"I wasn't thinking then either." She read the confusion on his face. "In the showers. I was running on instinct. I thought it was you and I responded to it."

"When you first came in, it was me." He confided. "Thirteen took over so quickly."

"I got in my revenge against him, Lee. You lived." She smiled and tossled his hair. "Come on, I'm hungry."

Lee took a step to follow her, but stopped. "Maybe we should clean up first?"

Kara looked back at him, grinning. "Nope, I'm not risking a shower with you until I've had some breakfast."

Lee blushed beet red and stammered nonsense. Kara broke into a fit of laughter and ran toward the main building.

BSG

Lee took a deep, cleansing breath and stepped off the shuttle onto Galactica's civilian deck. He glanced around for overly familiar faces and let out the breath he'd been holding when he found none.

He slipped into the corridor and made his way to his bunk. He wanted to stow his stuff and change before reporting for duty. He'd had his last session with Agron that morning. He wasn't expected until later that day or the following morning. Lee was itching to get back to a more normal life.

"Captain?" Hotdog gushed, when Lee stepped out of the showers.

Lee smiled. "Hotdog, good to see you."

Hotdog offered his hand. "I'm so glad you're back, sir."

Lee raised an eyebrow, surprised at the statement. "Why's that?"

Hotdog stared, as if it should have been obvious. "Hello? Starbuck as CAG?"

Lee laughed and finished dressing.

"You'll be back on duty soon, right?" Hotdog pressed.

Lee threw his towel on his bunk. "I'm about to find out. Wish me luck."

"Good Hunting, sir!" Hotdog called after him.

Lee would never know how his father knew, but he entered his father's quarters to a welcoming committee. "How?"

Adama laughed. "It's my job. In case you hadn't noticed." Adama wrapped an arm around his son's shoulders and lead him further into the room.

President Roslin and Starbuck hugged him, while Cottle and Tigh both offered their hands.

It was obvious Lee was overwhelmed by the reception. He stumbled over his words. "Thanks… I…" He offered the papers in his hand to his father. "It's my official return to duty paperwork."

Adama grinned as he accepted them. "Consider yourself returned."

Kara let out a scream of joy and when Tigh added his own, "thank the gods" the room erupted in laughter.

Adama winked at the president and took the opening presented. "Starbuck, you've done a good job as CAG."

She corrected him. "Temporary CAG, sir!"

He retrieved a small box from his desk. "It's my honor to present these to you." He handed her the box, now open to reveal captain's insignia. "Congratulations Captain Thrace."

Kara was stunned and speechless. She finally whispered, "thank you, sir."

Adama grinned. "Thank President Roslin. The promotions were her idea." He added with mocked annoyance. "As far as I'm concerned, you went AWOL."

The group turned to face Roslin and she explained. "I wasn't thinking clearly when I promoted Admiral Adama all those months ago. I just assumed the rest would follow. I've learned since then."

"Thank you, Madame President" Kara offered and then added. "Promotions?"

All eyes looked to Colonel Tigh. He waved them off. "Not me. I've got no desire to be a Commander." He looked at the admiral. "There's only one commander for the Galactica and it's not me. I've got the wrong name."

Adama frowned and retrieved two additional boxes. Opening the first, he presented Lee with major insignia. "Congratulations, Major Adama."

Lee couldn't help but think he was dreaming. "But I… I haven't even been on duty in…"

Lee couldn't accept the box. His hands were frozen to his sides, so Adama took the liberty of changing out his son's rank.

Roslin beamed with pride. "I said they were long overdue and so…" She took the second box from Adama. "is this." She pulled the lid off the second box to reveal the Colonial Medal of Honor. "I know this should be presented at a formal recognition ceremony, but we all agreed you wouldn't attend." She smirked and stepped back as she freed the medal from the case.

"Major Lee Adama, for service above and beyond the call of duty, under severe duress and the most trying of circumstances, I hearby award you the highest honor in the Colonial Fleet, the Medal of Honor. The Admiral got his with the promotion. This was also long overdue." She choked on her words when she finally looked up to meet Lee's expression. Tears formed in her eyes. "All of humanity thanks you."

Lee couldn't move. He couldn't respond. He was beyond overwhelmed. He carried so much guilt; the idea of being commended was incomprehensible to him. He couldn't speak. He alternated between swallowing and licking his now parched lips.

The president stepped forward and pinned the medal on his chest.

Cheers were called out from all and a small celebration ensued. When Lee was left alone in the office with his father, he still hadn't said much.

"Sorry to surprise you with that. It was all her idea, although I don't disagree." Adama said, as he stretched into his couch. "I suppose it might have been too close to your return?"

"I…" Lee still couldn't describe his feelings.

Adama chuckled. "Don't even try." He enjoyed seeing his son lost for words. He knew Lee struggled with his confidence. It was an inevitable problem when you were a colonial officer's son, but it humbled him as a father to see his son like this. "So, ready for duty tomorrow?"

Lee nodded and smiled. "Yes, sir. I'm anxious to get back."

"You might not be so anxious when you see your desk. I won't tell you how far behind on reports Kara is." Adama taunted.

"I expected as much." Lee replied confidently. "I'm ready."

Adama studied his son. "Yes, you are."

Lee returned his father's gaze. "Did you doubt that?" It was a jab as well.

Adama shook his head. "You've been through a lot. I suspect you're a changed man."

"I can't change anything that happened and I'll always carry the guilt…"

"But, you've got to move on." Adama finished.

Lee smiled. "No regrets. My dad taught me that."

Adama beamed at the comment. "He must be a wise man."

Lee wasn't about to let his father get smug. "Occasionally!"

**A/N: Thanks for reading... Good Bye and Good Night**


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